5 Common Make up Mistakes that We Become Blind to for Some Reason…

~ Emmie ~ Leave a comment

So we all know that girl. With the perfect skin and illuminous glow, the wonderful smile and sparkle in her eyes. And it looks like herself, not like make-up. We’ve wondered if she is an influencer or a part time model. We wonder if she wears make-up at all, because we can’t see it. This is the kind of make-up that is aspirational. The kind that is almost invisible. Makes us look like ourselves, but better. And I recently thought about some mistakes that we might be doing every morning when we do our habitual make up routine unknowingly, even after decades of wearing make-up expertly. These mistakes in application can be hard to spot, even for me, since I’m over 40 with a need for reading glasses! Investing in a magnifying mirror like I did when applying make-up will really level up the game when it comes to make-up application.. But here goes, the main mistakes we need to notice to fix:

  1. Uneven/unblended foundation: This is the look of something slightly cakey or dry on top of the skin. Cakey textures are hard to see sometimes because when we use a full coverage foundation, we see it covering up skin discolourations and we assume it’s doing its job. But coverage is just as important as invisibility. If the foundation is not applied evenly, or there is build up of it in an area, it will look cakey. Check the cheekbones, sides of the face, corners of the mouth: the coverage should be smooth, invisible. If not, smudge it out with a blending sponge or wipe off excess with a tissue. Sometimes having a moisturizer on the face prior to using foundation helps thin out and blend the foundation to be more invisible. Also be careful not to use too much setting powder because that can add an overly dry, unnatural matte texture. The finished foundation look should be slightly dewy and glow-y, as skin tends to look that way naturally!
  2. Spidery Mascara: This mistake looks like heavy spider legs, clumping and weighing down the lashes. I noticed some formulas of mascara, even in the same products, are inconsistent when it comes to wetness. If mascara is too wet, it will load on too much product and weight down the lashes in clumps. In cases like this, I recommend using multiple coats only before it dries, i.e. do one adequate coat (versus letting it dry a minute and then going for a second coat). Another thing I like to do is to use my clean finger tip and push up on the lashes after application, to pick up excess product, lift the lash as it dries and smooth out clumps.
  3. Blush that sits on the surface of the skin: This mistake has a powdery texture, can be overly matte, and has no translucently. It’s a blush look that’s okay for photos or full face make-up, but it’s a bit too unnatural for daily face looks. I used to think that I was using too much blush when my cheeks looked too pink in the mirror. And I used to use the tiniest amounts with the faintest pink colours, thinking that it’ll look more natural. But it’s not the shade, it’s the texture of the blush. Find one with a bit of transparency so that the skin is visible underneath it. It looks way more natural that way. I feel cream or liquid blushes tend to be more transparent and natural looking.
  4. Overly lined eyes: This mistake happens often and looks like bandit eyes! I can even see it in movie make-up sometimes too. It’s not flattering, it’s distracting. Dark and thick eyeliners lined entirely around the eyes can actually make them look smaller by diminishing the whites of the eyes. It’s better to tightline the eyes (a technique of just lining the lash line thinly, to even it out) And if there is a desire for some graphic definition of the eyes, just a winged liquid liner on the top lash line will do the trick. If only using a pencil liner, try to smudge and soften the eyeliner after application with a smudge tool, or clean eyeshadow brush: smudge both the top and bottom lids. For the bottom lid I always line it with a dark eyeshadow instead of liner so that it’s extra soft looking. And I still smudge it with my fingers too.
  5. Eyebrows too dark and defined: This mistake gets overlooked often, but it’s when the eyebrows are darkly filled in and opaque. They brows don’t have any dimension and look drawn in with ink or tattooed on. I don’t really like this look because it reminds me of the painted brows on a doll or mask. It doesn’t look real or natural. It looks too severe as well, hardening the face and the gaze of the eyes. Again, as with eyeliner, I think softness is the way to go. To fix this, use a powder/pencil brow colour several shades lighter than our natural hair colour. And smudge the brow application and comb it with an eyebrow brush for extra softness.
This is an example of cakey foundation and overlined eyes. While, not the worst, Gretchen here looks just overly done up. Mean Girls 2004, Paramount Picures.

So there it is, guys. The 5 most common make-up mistakes I always see. As a disclaimer, I think make-up and beauty is subjective sometimes…and if some of these mistakes are done intentionally to achieve a certain vibe, then all the best with their use! But if these mistakes are things that arise from years of wearing make-up and not noticing the tiny effects the wrong application or wrong products can produce, we can all pay better attention. After all, our busy lives are not an excuse for showing up with anything other than the appearance of being bright eyed and bushy tailed. Because we’re the “influencer” of our own lives.

This is a clean make-up I do on a daily basis when I’m not going out or working. And I like it because it looks natural and uses my 5 tips!

Why confidence is not everything for success in life…

~ Emmie ~ Leave a comment

So we’ve all heard it so much and many times before: success is something that confidence gets. But as I’ve learned all my years on earth; yes and also no. My life experience has shown me that there are so many grey areas to any mindset or belief. And as much as we’ve all yearn for something clear and easy, like a “paint by numbers” canvas, success is something more complicated. Life can be seen as a bunch of scenarios that we just have to manage, make decisions and take action on. Whether we’re looking confident or not has nothing to do with the efficiency, or amount of positive outcome in our lives. If anything our confidence can be seen as a passive facade. Like trash talking the opposing team before a match. It’s like an attitude that can be acted out and has nothing to do with the task at hand. Problems will present themselves in our lives. And we just have to solve them. We don’t really have the time to decide to be confident. We only have time to fix our lives, to be in our lives and try to enjoy it.

Because confidence is a feeling, an act or appearance, it has little to do with the actual problem solving tasks that presents themselves daily. We actually need skills. Different skills for different problems and whole combination of them as well. For example when I worked on my first ship as a hairdresser, the clients were assigned to me. And I had to perform fast, with no mistakes, and give ultimate client satisfaction every time. And I never had even a minute to waste on how to look “confident”. All my attention and energy was put on the tasks at hand. The client didn’t care if I looked visibly confident. They wanted visible results in their hair only. And that’s the true nature of confidence. It’s not something I need to feel or have others feel. It is nice to have inner confidence in the real sense, but that’s not necessarily something that can be seen. The same logic applies to love and dating. While confidence is good, it alone cannot produce the outcome.

Appearing confident is great when it comes to getting a job, and it helps us through an interview and helps us appear calm. But even the in the best job interviews, a person has to also balance that with some modesty, to show an ability to follow rules. There is only a smidgen of confidence actually needed. Confidence on a personal growth level is not that necessary either, because it has nothing to do with self esteem, or the desire to learn. Confidence can be used to cover up when we don’t even like ourselves, and gives us excuses without having to change or fix ourselves. I grew up having very low self esteem. I was very shy and felt unworthy of lovers or friends. And I had to work really hard on finding things in me that I could say that I liked. And even after finding theses things I had to convince myself that I was good. I still work on self esteem till this day, And that’s a lot of work. Self love is closer to to being humble and open.with self acceptance. So again, confidence is different to that.

Confidence is also easy to fake. That’s right. We all know someone who is confident. They value themselves and the image they project. But when you actually get to know them, we feel they are insecure, jealous of others, and passive aggressive to get what they want. Confidence is a vehicle of disguise for them. The performance of confidence makes them feel they have the right to lead someone or manage something. They use confidence to hide the uncertainty they feel instead of examining where it comes from. I don’t want that kind of confidence. It’s actually very ugly, and not coming from a good place in our spirits.

Confidence is great, but it doesn’t lead to inner happiness. Because of it’s performative nature, it’s always dependent on others to affirm it. It’s outside of us and requires an audience. If we perform confidence to get validation from others, it becomes a job, which in itself cannot bring us happiness. The act of being confident can not therefore make us happy. It can however make us arrogant, indifferent, or even jaded as a related feeling. And those things are not great feelings.

Another thing to think about: Confidence is not often associated with being feminine, or soft. Confidence is also an adjective that is often the opposite stance from being caring or sweet. And like I said, while it has some value in the “go getter” career mindset, it has very little value if we want to feel like a gentle, feminine being. Traditional, ethereal, beautiful femininity is demure and modest. That is not something confidence can get us, or the demeanor it embodies.

Also, there’s something to be said about modesty. It’s truly an underrated character trait these days. Modestly is about knowing one’s worth, but the refusal to flaunt it. That’s a classy gesture. We’re all so tired of having that loud energy in our face. On social media, it’s about how to be a diva, how to get what we want. Why have we all been reduced to beings that only want, and aim to get things, when we don’t have anything to GIVE? How about we evaluate if we have anything to give before huffing and puffing about how great we are? Confidence is great, but it’s an overrated character trait in our society. I elect for a re-awakening of our senses and abilities for something more authentic. Let’s be modest, aim to listen and give to the community. And after that, we can build a future we want based on love, and not have the time for pompous, delusions of ourselves; or the performances of confidence that we are pressured to exhibit.

The only two shades of lipstick I need for getting polished fast and goes with any look!

~ Emmie ~ Leave a comment

It’s not easy putting on a full face of make-up every morning on a moving ship, and reporting for duty bright and early in the morning at the Spa (I’m a hairdresser on board ships). And as women we all know that lipstick shades and finishes come in such a huge array of choices. Every mainstream brand, whether designer or drugs store has too many options to choose from when it comes to lips. Here my my tips however, for making the colour decision fast, and always having a makeup look that works, so that mornings can be spent having that extra cup of coffee for who knows what a busy work morning will bring!

These are the two recommended colours: A natural mauve/pink and a bold, fashion red!

First tip, I recommend using long wear lipsticks only. Not only are they more economical because I’m reapplying lip colour less frequently, but also, they save time for that same reason. I can be confident that my lips looks good until lunch-time when it comes off. And then I reapply after lunch and I can repeat the feeling of confidence that it hasn’t smeared or rubbed off until the next break. All cosmetic brands now make long lasting lip products, (no budge), and it’s easy to find one in a variety of colours. There are also matte and gloss finishes to choose from. I feel for no budge lipstick, matte is better, just because it feels less like shellac on my lips. And I also feel glossy lips are distracting and less natural looking. But to each their own, of course.

Now on to tips for choosing which lip colour to use for what look. One colour of lipstick I used often was a bold red to pair with nude/light eyeshadows and minimal make up looks. That’s right, the face needs balance, so if I were wearing a minimal makeup look on a given day, I would punch it up with a bold fashion colour! And a velvety red really brought the drama and I always had compliments when wearing it.

Nothing goes better with a statement red than minimal clean makeup!

But I also received so many compliments on my smokey eye make-up! On days where I wore that look, the eyes were so dramatic that they didn’t need a loud lip colour to compete with. It would be too busy. So with smokey eyes or darker eyeshadows, I would pair the look with a muted mauve/natural pink lip. And this always kept the smokey eye makeup as the star. We always want one thing more loud on the face and the others more quiet. If we choose the lips, it’s getting the bold red, and they eyes stay natural. If we choose the eyes to be the focus, the lipstick colour has to be muted.

And with a smokey dark eye shadow, we’re going to have to have a muted lip colour. Here I was doing very cool toned nude. But a natural pink works also. Anything “quiet”.

What I love about these two lip colours is that it’s all the colours we need! And they can paired with dozens of makeup looks. It actually simplifies my makeup routine and helps me save time, while still looking put together. And that’s what I feel makes the best beauty tricks. We want to look effortless, but we also want it to be truely effortless. We can have style and taste come faster just from knowing which colour to use, and not because from over thinking from having too many options to choose from. Girls, I was rarely ever late on the ship, and also rarely ever wore the wrong shade of lip colour!