Getting ready for “date night” is a really basic beauty ritual that needs no explaining, in my opinion. We all do it, primp and preen and get our skin glowing for that special someone. But there is actually a lot more to it that flexing our vanity and grooming muscles. There is an order and logic to it. It’s a process, so let’s talk about that process. I will start by talking about my emotional state recently and how getting ready for this one date was so interesting to me.
So I do have a boyfriend. I guess that’s what he is, considering that it we’re monogamous and it’s pretty regular that we see each other. And it’s really difficult making time for each other with our busy adult lives. And the future is always uncertain, in terms of the longevity and meaning of the relationship. I recently feared a lot of things after some revealing text messages from my boyfriend. And I didn’t know how to deal with them. I am a hairstylist in Toronto; my day to day consists of taking care of the business of looking good, and not much else. So there it was–a wall of emotions that floored me and I didn’t know what to do for days. But as a date night with my beau approached, I did what I had to do. What I always knew how to do…prep and get ready. And believe it or not, the process of selfcare and beautification really made me feel more secure of myself and what I want and was therapy in a way.
The Ritual of Getting Ready:
Facial Pampering: I like to do this the night before a date, or the morning of. It’s exfoliating with a gentle face exfoliator. I used Deciem’s Lactic Acid. Then applying a mask. The exfoliating makes the skin cleaner by removing dead skin cells so that it can absorb the nutrients of a moisturizing mask and expel toxins trapped within. It’s also creating the ideal canvas for make-up application. Also the best time to do my nails is the night before!
Cleansing face, body and hair: I like to do this a few hours before the date: I do the whole enchilada; shampoo, condition my hair, shave, brush my teeth. After all the cleansing, don’t forget to moisturize with a nice light body lotion.
Blow Dry and Style hair. My hair style depends on the formality of the night. After being apart for a while from my beau, I needed to have a more carefree, low maintenance look. This was because I wanted to create a more relaxed vibe between us after the awkwardness of the previous week and the messages. So I opted for a tousled look without flat ironing or curling. It was very natural. To achieve this I just blow dry and add a bit of serum for shine and de frizzing.
Decide on outfit: Do this before putting make up on. Even if I don’t dress until right before the date, I still need to know what colors I’m working with. After choosing the appropriate outfit, for this one night I chose a lace turquoise body suit spaghetti strap tank and flare jeans. Casual but stylish attire to match my mood.
Make up time: I decided since few colours didn’t clash with turquoise I would wear a smokey beige shadow with a bit of shimmer. It was perfect. Subtle, but alluring none the less. Liquid line with a pen, my usual day to day make up. Blush, brows, and lots of mascara.
By the time I got picked up by him, I was looking fine. Not overdone…even with all the work and prep it took. I enjoy the process. By the end of out date, after a hard couple of weeks second guessing our relationship, it felt nice that at least I always knew how to put on a good show; even if the future is uncertain with my beau. And well…it’s who I am to put my best face forward.
The wedding season is more than half done or at least the bulk of it is done, and while I love weddings–the romance and the special feeling one gets when seeing the bride walks down the isle, or the splendor of flowers and pretty place settings, and luxurious stationary paper…it’s actually kind of nice that the season is almost over. Weddings can be expensive and stressful, filled with obligations, awkward etiquette dilemnas, and seeing distant relatives that one only sees well, at weddings and funerals.
I was anticipating one event of the summer for me…My little sister’s wedding that was announced since the spring and last weekend was when she finally tied the knot with her boyfriend of many years… it was a small intimate event, simple and fun. And as a wedding guest, I didn’t have to do any intense bridesmaids duties, but as a guest there are still many rules to be observe to be a great guest. And to have a comfortable time there myself as a guest. Here are some notes I’ve made about attending weddings:
Ways to be a great wedding guest:
Let the bride get her way: I think that brides, with all the stress of getting hitched and planning a wedding, they get a bit crazy and it rubs off in weird ways, on the bridal party and guests. The best thing to do is unless it is something really important, I just let her have it her way.
Look good, but not too good: Let’s be honest, the day is the bride’s day, not the guests’; wearing that red hot number or, a revealing bodycon dress is not the place to go. I rather go for innocence and friendship with pretty, simple dresses that are wedding appropriate and will not outdo the bride, but still have a sense of fashion.
Wear neutral make-up. I really like expressing myself with make-up, but bold trendy make-up is just too much of a statement. As a wedding guest, I feel more comfortable blending in, and not standing out.
Make polite cheerful conversation even if it’s hard: I find it very unnatural to be happy all the time and it’s always when I’m feeling a bit down that someone who would care about that approaches me. All it takes is one dour expression, and you’ll end up looking too stern and risk looking like a pouty party pooper.
Fashion don’ts for girls: No black or white dresses, no mini skirts, nothing overly formal that would outdo the bridal dress…no bra straps or bralettes visible, cover up shoulders during ceremony, reception can bear shoulders. I also don’t thoughtlessly wear just any old dress. I want to show some effort was involved and that I care how I look to the bride, groom and other guests.
I like to look like I’m having fun, even if I am not. Accept drinks when offered, and participate in toasts, dancing, and anything else that may be happening. And remember to congratulate the bride and groom! Be a gracious guest at all times!
So recently I’ve been coloring my hair like crazy…check out my post about soap capping. It’s been a goal of mine now to have ashy, cool toned hair colour, because well, as a dark haired asian girl, that is near impossible. Black is my natural color, and that’s as cool toned as my hair wants to be. But as I age and become more pale, black hair is actually too harsh for my skin tone (plus the occassional white that hair creeps in). But when I try to lighten even just a few shades, my hair screams a bright red/orange tone, even harsher than black hair for my complexion. I actually had to go through a lot of chemical processes to get it to be the cool toned light brown I have now and I’m ashamed to say it, since I kind of fried my hair with a chemical soup to get it…But now I think I got it, and really don’t care if it’s not exactly the colour I want…me needs to let go.
Today is my birthday, I’m another year older, and I’m really thinking today about how unimportant hair color is…all the cosmetic procedures, chemicals and efforts us girls put into altering our natural appearance doesn’t add up to much. When the truth is, nobody cares about the color of my hair…I recently reviewed some lipstick on here and to think I about it, I doubt anyone really cares about my lip color either. It’s fun, but that’s it…The truth is, cosmetics and fashion is a past time I enjoy…but not ultimately what people care about in me. My dad’s obsession for example, is seeing me eat more, eat healthily and sleep. Ha ha. Really that’s all he cares about. Most people just want others to be healthy and happy. So I know that taking care of oneself’s mind and body is ultimately the most important thing to do…
Time to say sorry to my body and hair for everything I put it through for the sake of my vanities.Whether it is soap capping twice in one night to lighten it, or putting in harsh dyes and toners to perfect my hair color, or not eating bagels since they make me bloat…I have start seeing as to how I am pretty mean to my body…and it’s time to say sorry. How do I say sorry to my body? Some ideas I have are:
Don’t wear make-up on my off days, I just moisturize your skin and drink lots of tea
Do have that pastry/cookie/candy I’ve been thinking of
sleep in that extra two hours…I will never run out of chores/work that I gotta do, but I know I can always do it later
give my hair a hot oil conditioning treatment and not worry about what it will do its color
Feed your mind: Do something that has NOTHING to do with being gorgeous. (no fashion/make up stuff) Write an article or read a book about something cerebral. Create something that will bring value to your health, or learn something about the world your never knew.
Don’t look at trends and covet them on social media. Look at yourself and what you want to accomplish and achieve…
Remember the important things in life…and be happy. That’s what I’ve been thinking about on my birthday today. Nothing is worth doing if it doesn’t make us healthy and happy. It’s really easy to get caught up in getting the latest fashions and make-up trends, and cosmetic procedures…but knowing when to stop is key.