Holiday blues and stresses…how to cope

Christmas tree with lights and all. But who also feels sadness?

The end of the year is upon us so what to do? I know it’s a hard time of year for many and here’s the reasons. We feel obligated to make it perfect, magical and happy. Hallmark movies, and ideas of family togetherness. Getting everything on our wish list and giving the best most amazing gifts. Hitting relationship and career goals, anticipating a holiday vacation that is heavy in price tag and planning…etc. Trying not to over eat, but trying not to miss out on holiday treats. Keeping traditions while not really having time or energy for the rituals we once held dear. It’s never ending the way people stress over the holidays. And in my experience it’s almost always disappointing in some way. I call it my Xmas curse, but I guess it’s inevitable that the end of the year in all of it’s hype, is not all it’s supposed to be.

So how do we cope mentally during such a trying time of the year? How do we find balance and peace during a time that is supposedly all of that and more? The solution can be as simple and complicated as one wants it. But ultimately, it’s all about understanding ourselves and reaching out for what will realistically make a simple solution. Here are my go to’s this year for treating holiday blues:

  1. Have time for myself: People are afraid to be alone during the holidays. And working a lot is the norm as well. The pressure to fill every moment and minute with another being or working overtime to make year end goals, is not quality time. Trying not to feel alone; not scheduling alone time for reflection and isolation is a negative thing. Solitude during this time of year when the first snow hits makes sense. Embrace it. People will always be around, but the quiet beauty of being one with oneself is a fragile state that must be prioritized.
  2. Rest a lot: Being stressed and overwhelmed during the holidays is a natural occurrence. Rest and relaxation is not. Which is why I have to work hard at not working hard. Whether it is skipping groceries for a day and ordering take-out or procrastinating on hanging ornaments and xmas lights…it’s really important to rest. It also helps my immune system during the first cold spell and prevents me from getting sick.
  3. Don’t go shopping: It’s really tempting with all the sales and everyone on the list to not hit the malls frantically and spend. Gifts can be simple and don’t have to be perfect. Spend less time buying and more time thinking about the people you want to gift to. Everything tends to fall into place without too much stress/spending usually. Try to remember that.
  4. Don’t over eat: Let’s be honest, food is comforting. Whenever I feel sad or alone, I am reaching for salty noodle soup, spicey condiments, and tons of delicious fried delicacies. It’s relaxing and rewarding for the moment and releases happy hormones. But the aftermath is guilt and disgust at myself when all my clothes are tight, and I’m not as cute and petite as I like to be. Everything in moderation. I don’t want to deprive myself, but honestly, I don’t have to over indulge.
  5. Watch the drinking: Sometimes during the holidays, we are encouraged to let loose and drink. Especially when things are not panning out the way we want. A boyfriend forgets to call, an argument with a sister; during the holidays, these mishaps feel ten times worse. The quick fix is to grab a cocktail. But drinking heightens emotions and subdues restraints. Meaning one can say things one doesn’t mean, or feel even worse about a situation. I’m not saying not to drink. But stay aware of the amount taken and how it may distort one’s perspective on things.
Happy Holidays. Remember to take care and stay beautiful!

So there it is. My list of things to help me navigate the holiday season, mentally healthy and happy. The end of the year is a time for reflection and no anxiety, so why not make efforts to thwart the tendency for chaos? What better way to right in the new year that to prioritize rest, peace, and self respect? Happy holidays everyone from the bottom of my heart to all this season. And see you on Dreamy Reveries in the new year! I have a lot planned for 2023 here!

Staying your “hot self”, even when no dates are happening

I’m single. I have been single for longer than I want to admit on here. And while I haven’t been totally under a rock and in my own shell; (.I’ve dated around since being married last in 2006) It’s not a goal of mine to be perpetually single. I do want to meet my soul mate, for once and for all, and run into the sunset without abandon with him. But I know it ain’t happening. It ain’t happening anytime soon. Toronto has only started reopening since the last panicked winter covid quarantine. So technically I am two years behind in my dating search progress for the “one”. I say this to make myself feel better. Another thing that provides me comfort this early summer in TO is this: I will date myself. I will go out to nice dinners and enjoy a city re-opening even if I’m not coupled., That’s right…I got the idea from so many other liberated souls with bad luck in love too; I know that hot girl summer has to happen, whether or not Mr. Romance is knocking on my door. Summers in Canada are so short and I’ll be damned if I don’t visit all the patios and gourmet rest stops this city has to offer. My work at the salon has suddenly slowed down for the month of June and I am ready to enjoy this sun and warmth. With my son in tow, we are visiting yummy, trendy spots on TO, with no sign of stopping. I want to experience this summer 2022, and we all deserve it after two years in quarantine. My fun won’t be dependent on waiting by the phone for “him” to call. It’s happening now and happening fast!

This is my neighborhood in Toronto. Taken just the other day, one can see the vibe in the air: the streets are full of things to explore!

How to Have an Awesome Single Gal Summer Post Pandemic:

  1. I decided to search out all the yummy, unique restaurants and wonderful patios that exist in the city.
  2. I then go to these places, with children, with friends and anyone who wants to.
  3. I primp and preen myself for myself to be seen and be fabulous.
  4. I order new dishes, things I really want to taste and experience
  5. And I just enjoy! Like I said, summer in North American cities are so short. There’s no time to waste waiting for Mr. Right to appear and ask me out. I will make my own sparkle and shine!
At this really cool Pilipino bar and resto on Queen West called Islas. They have great barbeque skewers for the carnivorous bunch, Buck a Shuck oysters on Tuesdays!
The hottest new thing in Toronto Annex (central west location) is an Asian Night Market called Super Fresh with vendors serving street eats from the East! A bit over rated and probably not worth the lines, the Taiwanese Fried chicken/any fried chicken is the bomb!

Women often get all dolled up when we know we are going on a formal date. And even extra primping is involved when it feels like a potential match. But I promise, primping up and going out for oneself is a beneficial exercise in having joy in life. And going on a date with friends and family will build social bonds that always need strengthening. At the end of the night, I don’t have to wonder and fret if the date I went on was a success. I will know that time was well spent with myself and those around me.

Sultry Nude tones: a flirty Make-up look for Valentines

Over the years, I’ve sported a lot of make up looks…but for Valentines this year, I was feeling that nothing is more adorable and feminine than a nude palette with a bit of shine, topped off with a matte red lip. It’s romantic, doesn’t appear formal or done up, but looks fashionable and right, with jeans or with a dress. I’m not in a relationship and for those who are at the moment, I am envious of them. I’ve always loved the idea of a holiday for loving, and remember the little cards we’d send to everyone in class in elementary school. As adults, it’s now something so exclusive to couples, something that single people can’t celebrate, but as a single gal, I still want to have fun during this time. So I’ve concocted another makeup look for all the dates that are being enjoyed during this time. I can only imagine.

I have posted a valentines make-up look several years before, and if that is of interest, the link is here. It’s got smoky plums as the theme. But this year, I wanted to do something a little bit racier. I was actually inspired by the playboy bunny’s make up. Subtle nude tones, very glam black liquid liner and mascara, red matte lip. Ultra flirty and feminine. Bedroom eyes. As I was creating this year’s Valentines make-up look, I also realized this is a version of the cat eye, French girl, retro pin up look. It’s just a classic. So here goes.

This is the start of any good make-up, and flawless base. Highlighting can be a great way to make the face look more luminous in photos.
  1. Apply a good foundation on lightly moisturized face. Medium to heavy coverage is best for photos. Then apply and highlighting concealer in certain spots: forehead triangle, under eye bags, nose bridge, chin etc…then blend with a beauty sponge, powder to finish and set.
  2. Next, define the eyebrows with a pencil or powder or gel. Put on the eyeshadow base. I like to use a slight shimmer on my bottom lids for more cute glow. A skin coloured shadow for the top lids work great as a base. Next add a shimmery taupe shade all over the lid. Take a dark tan colour shadow for the crease and outer edges of the lid. blend with a fluffy eyeshadow brush.
  3. Draw in a cat eye line with liquid liner on the top lid. I like to use felt tip pens for control and thinner lines. The line should not be too thick or too thin. It should also extend past the corner of the lid lifting up ever so slightly on a slant.
The eye make up is almost complete. Notice the subtle tan and nude tones. Use a slight shimmer shadow for a romantic sheen.

Finish with a good 1 or 2 coats of volumizing mascara, and ample amount of blush just on the tops of the cheeks. Do not over blush, keep the colour in the area of just the tops of cheeks. And voila, the finished look should be polished, flirty, elegant, and fun. Perfect for any Valentines Day date night.

Do I scream flirty or what? I feel pretty classy in this make-up, and that’s the beauty of it. It just works for any occassion, really.