Category: relationships

A tattoo is a skin wound that takes 3 weeks to heal…

~ Emmie Reve ~ Leave a comment

I recently added some new designs and details to an existing tattoo. Working with a trusted tattoo artist, I let her carve into me some extra sea imagery to my Venus goddess tattoo. For those not familiar with the process, a tattoo is thousands of little holes punched into the inner layer of the skin with an electric needle tool. The holes are filled with pigment and allowed to heal. As a result, it will hold whatever image is placed under the skin permanently. It’s an artform that is truly transformative and meaningful. But it requires the skin to be broken, hurt and maimed. But after some time, it’s an art piece that is painless and wonderful to look at. There are no scars but for the colourful pigments left behind.

This is the original tattoo. Simple and pretty, but not reminiscent of the way Venus was “born of the sea”. I wanted some more water imagery. The artist preps me by shaving the area.

There are other physically painful things that take time for the body to physically recover but the outcomes are so amazing. Childbirth for example. A woman’s body is pushed and stretched beyond comfortable proportions. Labour is very traumatic to experience. Intense contractions, and a human being having to exit a small space, it’s actually pretty violent. But the rewards are very real. A tiny bundle of joy awaits, and it makes the ordeal all worth it. My own experience giving birth to my son had taken me a year to heal before I felt physically like myself again. Ballet dancers are another example. They put their bodies and feet into demanding, often debilitating routines. And the outcome is an artful elegant dance that looks effortless…

My finished creation: I love how the artist made the water so flowy and fluid looking. She looks like a goddess born of the sea now!

During my most recent tattoo session, I was personally going through a break-up of immense emotional pain, walking out of a one sided relationship scenario. I confided this to my tattoo artist and she was sympathetic. She advised me that I should and would find somebody better. I’m always skeptical about the idea that I will find true emotional/spiritual recovery after a break-up, since my heart is actually wounded and it doesn’t seem to have a heal date confirmed. A injured heart doesn’t seem to have a simple, or guaranteed healing timeline the way a new tattoo does. But I figure I will have to take care of my wounds during this time, and believe it can pass. It can be and opportunity for transformation. Skin that has been tattooed on takes 3 weeks to fully heal, my tattoo artist said….but I’m wondering now how long will it take for my heart to heal? I don’t know, but I’m hoping it will also be in 3 weeks time.

Yay, I’m loving it…this is week one of healing this tattoo. Can’t wait till it’s done. Still sensitive.

Stay classy, stay cool, girl…have better karma

~ Emmie Reve ~ Leave a comment

Mean Girls? That movie that was made in the 2000’s that described the modern day climate of girls/young women’s relations with each other was mostly Hollywood drama, or was it? I feel in a lot of industries including the one that I am in, there is a lot of volatile competition and a lack of sisterhood. But where does this culture of women not helping each other, but instead are secretly hating/jealous/competing come from? Why is it not shunned, and why is it accepted as norm? Movies like Mean Girls glorify cattiness between girls like it’s entertainment. The truth is, it’s just sad…the world is a messed up place; There are murders, there are political scandals and corruptions, there is rape, assault and all kinds of pain. So why add to it by competing with your fellow peers, just because they are women? Aren’t there enough men to go around…aren’t there enough jobs, resources and love to go around? Why do so many young women turn to manipulation/scheming/passive aggressiveness towards their female peers? If looking at the male population, their culture is “bros before hoes.” They help each other out…but why doesn’t that make sense  for women? What is it about the female gender that makes it impossible to be genuine with each other?

Ways to Solve Female Animosity and build  community:

  1. Don’t get jealous: Girls are often afflicted with the crippling emotion of jealousy and envy of others girl’s fortunes. Think about all the work they had to put in to get where they are and how they deserve their current status. There is never really anyone who succeeds on looks, or charm alone. That woman that has it all probably worked her butt off for it and deserves respect.
  2. It’s not enough to focus on yourself: Ever met a girl who was a mess and needed some help and guidance? A girl who needed a friend because she wasn’t fitting in? It’s a fellow girl’s duty to help out by fostering her and not judging her. It’s about thinking about others in relation to ourselves.
  3. Don’t distrespect/overlook girls that are below rank, or are not in power: In a world where power dynamics can change at a snap of a finger, that girl that was beneath can come out on top literally the next day. Be nice to her at all times to maintain personal integrity if ever faced with rank changes and just to be cool in general.
  4. Be competitive, but be fair: Yes, often there is only one spot for a job, and yes often there is one guy that is awesome enough to attract a few women, but in the end, let the best candidate win. Don’t resort of bad mouthing, passive aggressive attacking, or snide actions that sabotage other women vying for the same thing. Have peace in performing to one’s best abilities and playing fair in competition. Talented people have feelings too, and deserve to get what they deserve.

All of these things are so important when living in a community of female peers that have similar talents and aptitudes as each us. So why not celebrate everyone’s excellence instead of trying to get ahead of the woman who is perceived to be a threat…in a real sense, befriending her could be a chance at an ally in our own times of need.

Beauty Sleep…Fact or Myth…

~ Emmie Reve ~ Leave a comment

One of my favourite activities as a young child was going to the cinema with my mom…and also at home, and when movies came on TV, I was in the living room with my mom, watching classic films like Psycho, Gone with the Wind and Sound of Music. Disney films were also a treat. My mom took me to the theatrical release of Sleeping Beauty when I was four and after seeing it, I was floored, mesmerized by the romance and I wanted to keep seeing it. It was so magical and amazing that a princess cheated death and aging by sleeping and was awoken again by true love! I wanted to ask my mom to take me again to see it, right after leaving the theater,  but I was too shy to.

Time to wake up! After 100 years of sleeping or so…she’s definitely rejuvenated!

The story of Sleeping Beauty struck a cord in me, because I think that’s because sleep is connected to beauty. It’s when we rejuvenate and replenish ourselves with energy, strength, spirit. It’s when we regenerate our tissues, bones and hair. It’s how we reset our physical and mental programming to face the everyday world. And every minute of it is worth gold. For example, I myself went a little crazy a few weeks ago when I was not sleeping well, stressed and anxious with modern day life challenges. And it showed in my complexion: my skin was bumpy and flacid, puffy eyes, limp lifeless hair, and low energy to the nines.

A break down on why sleep is so important:

  1. Life is always stressful: Between family, work and social obligations personal ambitions, daily life is full of anxiety, worry and distress. Sleep not only helps us have energy for these things, but is a key factor in keeping  mental health to face these things.
  2. It helps us regulate water/hormonal, emotional balance: I remember gaining water weight in the cheeks and hips when I was not sleeping well…and even my emotions were up and down…sleep is something that balances our body functions. Exercise also helps, but not as much a good rest, in my opinion.
  3. My complexion suffered. Wrinkles appeared out of no where, the smooth texture of my skin was gone…even make-up didn’t cover this up…
  4. My immune system was lowered and I was prone to infections and illnesses, allergies…etc
  5. I became very depressed and unable to think positively. I know that I have often battled sad days, we all have, but when I was lacking sleep, it felt that much harder, that much more severe.

So the bottom line? “Beauty sleep” does exist, because being well rested is a vital part of physical and mental health. What ways have you been neglecting a good sleep hygiene? Doctors say eight hours a night is ideal…so are you hacking it, or what can you do to make sure you get that? It’s worth the effort to get good sleep because then you get to wake up bright eyed and bushy tailed to face the world!