Staying your “hot self”, even when no dates are happening

I’m single. I have been single for longer than I want to admit on here. And while I haven’t been totally under a rock and in my own shell; (.I’ve dated around since being married last in 2006) It’s not a goal of mine to be perpetually single. I do want to meet my soul mate, for once and for all, and run into the sunset without abandon with him. But I know it ain’t happening. It ain’t happening anytime soon. Toronto has only started reopening since the last panicked winter covid quarantine. So technically I am two years behind in my dating search progress for the “one”. I say this to make myself feel better. Another thing that provides me comfort this early summer in TO is this: I will date myself. I will go out to nice dinners and enjoy a city re-opening even if I’m not coupled., That’s right…I got the idea from so many other liberated souls with bad luck in love too; I know that hot girl summer has to happen, whether or not Mr. Romance is knocking on my door. Summers in Canada are so short and I’ll be damned if I don’t visit all the patios and gourmet rest stops this city has to offer. My work at the salon has suddenly slowed down for the month of June and I am ready to enjoy this sun and warmth. With my son in tow, we are visiting yummy, trendy spots on TO, with no sign of stopping. I want to experience this summer 2022, and we all deserve it after two years in quarantine. My fun won’t be dependent on waiting by the phone for “him” to call. It’s happening now and happening fast!

This is my neighborhood in Toronto. Taken just the other day, one can see the vibe in the air: the streets are full of things to explore!

How to Have an Awesome Single Gal Summer Post Pandemic:

  1. I decided to search out all the yummy, unique restaurants and wonderful patios that exist in the city.
  2. I then go to these places, with children, with friends and anyone who wants to.
  3. I primp and preen myself for myself to be seen and be fabulous.
  4. I order new dishes, things I really want to taste and experience
  5. And I just enjoy! Like I said, summer in North American cities are so short. There’s no time to waste waiting for Mr. Right to appear and ask me out. I will make my own sparkle and shine!
At this really cool Pilipino bar and resto on Queen West called Islas. They have great barbeque skewers for the carnivorous bunch, Buck a Shuck oysters on Tuesdays!
The hottest new thing in Toronto Annex (central west location) is an Asian Night Market called Super Fresh with vendors serving street eats from the East! A bit over rated and probably not worth the lines, the Taiwanese Fried chicken/any fried chicken is the bomb!

Women often get all dolled up when we know we are going on a formal date. And even extra primping is involved when it feels like a potential match. But I promise, primping up and going out for oneself is a beneficial exercise in having joy in life. And going on a date with friends and family will build social bonds that always need strengthening. At the end of the night, I don’t have to wonder and fret if the date I went on was a success. I will know that time was well spent with myself and those around me.

How I had Winter Fun up North, when the Pandemic took away travel options..

Everybody who knows me, knows I can’t stand the cold. I am not a winter person. Even as a born and raised Canadian, I can’t skate, ski, or play hockey….all of the things that would make winter worthwhile. Without an interest in winter sports, all I have to look forward to as an urbanite in Toronto winters are slushy dirty snow, traffic accidents, public transit delays, a sun that sets at 5pm, and the depression constant darkness brings. It’s a season that gives me nothing, other than a gut from over eating out of boredom, and the lack of the ability to get outside for fear of being frozen. So for travel ideas if given a chance to chose in a non-pandemic travel world, one would find me on a white sand beach, or walking down big city streets, or soaking up culture in the finest museums internationally.

With the start of this year’s holiday season, it was also the start of another variant of Covid, and again the usual patterns of hibernating, being bored at home was all too tempting. But having time off work put pressure on me to think outside the box. Avoiding the stress from all the international travel restrictions, I instead planned a trip up North to a small cottage town called Bracebridge in Muskoka, a very picturesque area of Ontario that I never explored before. And thus launched the idea that maybe I could have fun this winter. Think trees, a lovely winding river and quietness. My son and I enjoyed days in with a magnificent view and cozy comfort food at the Inn’s pub. What I learned was winter could be beautiful and starting the New Year seemed positive. Travelling to remote areas in the winter has it’s perks, and while it’s no tropical paradise, it was relaxing and replenished me somehow.

On a hill with a bridge. Overlooking the river, my inn was just in the buildings behind.

Why Leaving the City for a Northern Getaway Worked:

  1. Traveling out of the city to a remote small town meant I didn’t have to get on a plane to go somewhere new and unexplored. And while Muskoka area was not too different from Toronto climate (albeit much colder), just the fact that getting there didn’t rely on delays, stress and customs at an airport, made it enjoyable. A two hour bus ride was all it took.
  2. I was by the beautiful Muskoka river and it was quiet and serene: Toronto doesn’t have big areas of peaceful water. It’s busy and hectic to get down to the harbour front and cold and windy to be near Lake Ontario during the winter. It’s hard to enjoy winter in the city. But it was pristine up North.
  3. “Baby it’s cold outside”: Just like the Christmas song implies, I didn’t need to be outside to have fun up North. I invested in a gorgeous suite that overlooked the river on a ravine. It was cold outside so after an afternoon of hiking around outside, I could return to my suite and just hibernate all night by the faux fireplace while enjoying Netflix and the view. Being inside and aiming to isolate never felt so right.
  4. The locals up north were friendly: Toronto is a grumpy city. Forget that we are supposed to be “nice Canadians” we just aren’t. So when I get random “happy new years” greetings from locals and staff it’s actually really nice.
  5. Because small towns are less populated, there is less adherence to strict Covid methods, such as I was barely screened for vaccination when dining, and there was just a calmer outlook when in public.

All in all I had fun up North in the small town of Bracebridge and that surprised me, considering I going somewhere colder and more remote based on pandemic restrictions. But this trip proved that sometimes being in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of winter can be fun.

On a steel bridge in Bracebridge feeling the small town charm, forgetting the cold!

A tattoo is a skin wound that takes 3 weeks to heal…

I recently added some new designs and details to an existing tattoo. Working with a trusted tattoo artist, I let her carve into me some extra sea imagery to my Venus goddess tattoo. For those not familiar with the process, a tattoo is thousands of little holes punched into the inner layer of the skin with an electric needle tool. The holes are filled with pigment and allowed to heal. As a result, it will hold whatever image is placed under the skin permanently. It’s an artform that is truly transformative and meaningful. But it requires the skin to be broken, hurt and maimed. But after some time, it’s an art piece that is painless and wonderful to look at. There are no scars but for the colourful pigments left behind.

This is the original tattoo. Simple and pretty, but not reminiscent of the way Venus was “born of the sea”. I wanted some more water imagery. The artist preps me by shaving the area.

There are other physically painful things that take time for the body to physically recover but the outcomes are so amazing. Childbirth for example. A woman’s body is pushed and stretched beyond comfortable proportions. Labour is very traumatic to experience. Intense contractions, and a human being having to exit a small space, it’s actually pretty violent. But the rewards are very real. A tiny bundle of joy awaits, and it makes the ordeal all worth it. My own experience giving birth to my son had taken me a year to heal before I felt physically like myself again. Ballet dancers are another example. They put their bodies and feet into demanding, often debilitating routines. And the outcome is an artful elegant dance that looks effortless…

My finished creation: I love how the artist made the water so flowy and fluid looking. She looks like a goddess born of the sea now!

During my most recent tattoo session, I was personally going through a break-up of immense emotional pain, walking out of a one sided relationship scenario. I confided this to my tattoo artist and she was sympathetic. She advised me that I should and would find somebody better. I’m always skeptical about the idea that I will find true emotional/spiritual recovery after a break-up, since my heart is actually wounded and it doesn’t seem to have a heal date confirmed. A injured heart doesn’t seem to have a simple, or guaranteed healing timeline the way a new tattoo does. But I figure I will have to take care of my wounds during this time, and believe it can pass. It can be and opportunity for transformation. Skin that has been tattooed on takes 3 weeks to fully heal, my tattoo artist said….but I’m wondering now how long will it take for my heart to heal? I don’t know, but I’m hoping it will also be in 3 weeks time.

Yay, I’m loving it…this is week one of healing this tattoo. Can’t wait till it’s done. Still sensitive.