Tag: mental health

Why Cruises may be the best vacation out there…

~ Emmie Reve ~ Leave a comment

I feel like vacations are important. They are part of the well being and mental health routine; way up there in terms of a non drug treatment for common malaise and mild chronic depression. Day to day life needs adventure, leisure, and change…we’re not all rich, so what can give us all of that at a decent price? Why I think that would be a cruise. I recently came back from a 5 night vacay on a ship going to the Caribbean for the second time, and I can definitely say that I had fun, relaxation and thrills. Pretty good food and just amazing travel views. That is what is in store on a cruise on these beautiful ships. Whether it’s an old vessel or new one, big or small, the glamour of sailing the high seas is alive and well in this culture. And without trying to sound like a travel agent trying to sell cruise vacations, here are the reasons, for me, why it may be the perfect getaway from our land locked lives!

On my very first Caribbean cruise. Is it obvious that I liked it? The deep blue sea was amazing!
  1. Value: Because cruising includes food and entertainment and lodgings, even transport between ports on the itinerary, there is no need to use our wallets that much. I’ve come back from land vacation trips where the expenses while in that destination was astronomical. (New York City, I love ya, but what gives?) While cruises do tend to have a lot of add ons and while in port there is often spending, it’s just not equal to what is doled out for land vacations where a dinner out can be hundreds and tourist sites can chart a hefty sum to visit. While it’s also expensive to book excursions with the cruise line, one can simply decide to stay on the ship, or tour ports on their own, with a bit of research. In that way, one can tailor a cruise: is the trip going to be a splurge trip with specialty dining and fancy excursions? Or a more pared down budget friendly option? It’s adjustable to each sailing.
  2. Being truly removed from anywhere: “Like Robinson Caruso, it’s primitive as can be..” lyrics from the old t.v. show Gilligan’s Island, it rings true with cruises. Being on a ship in the middle of an ocean feels like a remote desert island in some way. And because we are removed from the everyday, we have time to think, time to problem solve and time to really disconnect. There are no reminders of home on land and suddenly just “existing” is at the center of it all…
  3. No dishes and house chores: Let’s be honest…daily life and life chores are mundane. Going to get groceries, cooking, doing dishes, taking out garbage and such…it’s all really boring. Going to work daily…these are just boring motions of modern society. Cruises are the antithesis of that! Just show up on the ship, get taken care of daily in cabins that are cleaned and meals that are lovely…explore what new foods can tickle the tastebuds without even washing a plate! No lining up at the grocery store…everything just appears! just like that!
  4. Live Entertainment is just a short walk away: On my two past cruises, I saw singers and dancers, stand up comedians, acrobatics, and live music that would get one dancing in the isles. Cruise directors and their team hosting game shows and trivia…and it was all soooo close to my stateroom cabin. All so accessible…there is no city or travel spot in the world that can give that same convenience.
  5. It’s Educational: Not that one can’t learn about big tourist cities when visiting, but because cruises visit many ports during a sailing, the opportunity to get a wider scope or perspective on a larger area can be acquired. For example Caribbean cruises visit many islands, and because it’s just for one day, it can make it extra special to learn about the speific place while in port…since tomorrow, a passenger will be elsewhere. And in that sense one can get easily acquire general knowledge about a geographical region in a short time frame. Same thing goes for Alaskan or Mediterranean cruises. It’s easier to get a general view of a geographical area.
On my second cruise and I felt at home…There is lots of glamour to be had on designated “formal nights” on many sailings!

I used to relate cruising to that of a expensive luxury, a past-time for “older folks” with time and monies…but now after trying out two cruises, I can say I’m hooked. The truths about cruising for me is that I find them culturally valuable and time well spent. A vacation that is actually a thoughtful getaway from daily life. Whether lounging poolside, having an adventure on a shore excursion or playing shuffleboard on deck seaside…life is good when on the high seas. And the leisure component of vacationing is truly potent when sailing away on these big ships in the middle of the vast blue ocean.

Avoid the “Holiday Blues” without resorting to “Cuffing”

~ Emmie Reve ~ Leave a comment

Over the years I’ve heard about the phenomena of Christmas Blues: it’s the holidays, and a lot of gift giving and family togetherness is expected, but a lot of people experience loneliness and depression on a higher level this time of year. I even wrote an article about this last year too. So now that the holidays are coming up fast, I think it’s great time to mention some emotional triggers during this time of year that affect my well being and personal happiness. I assume it’s also mistakes a lot of other people make too…so it’s never a bad idea to hash out these ideas in an entry and really delve into what some causes of holiday blues and mental distress are, so that we can end 2023 in better spirits and more beautifully.

  1. Do not participate in “Cuffing Season”

Over the recent years, I’ve heard the term “Cuffing Season” thrown around a lot during the autumns here in North America. And the term is very popular here in Toronto, where the winters are long, cold and dark! It’s very depressing. Things are closed early, people stop socializing and going outside, and the snow and ice make it hard to, even if we want to. It’s just easier to lay cozy and warm at home on the couch and watch something.  In that sense cuffing season is just like another covid lockdown but only voluntary…and apparently, it’s not fun unless people drag another warm body down with them to do this isolating with.  Thus the term “Cuffing”.

 I really despise this practice…because it has nothing to do with love or attraction or even connection! It’s all about distancing emotionally while being with someone physically…Worse part is come Spring, the cuffed people agree to break up as if they were just using each other like inanimate objects that served their purpose; and the truly beautiful or worthy partners are still out there to find and persue.  What a sad depraved practice this is. And “cuffing” is often done in conjunction with other don’t do’s on this list.

My advice on this matter is to avoid people looking for this and don’t be a person setting this type of “situationship” up. It’s essentially using people. I mean I too enjoy vegging out on a couch doing nothing in particular, but that activity can be done alone.  Don’t drag a real, feeling human being into it and then chuck them when the first light of spring comes and the groundhog is still deciding if it sees its shadow.  Don’t do it! Just DON’T. We will never regret not using another human like a tool for our own comfort.  And the feeling of this moral restraint is something that will truly lift us up during the harsh winter season.

On the other hand, be able to detect when somebody is proposing to ”cuff” us and avoid it like the plague! It’s easy to fool ourselves into thinking that it’s actually a relationship, but there are always signs that it’s not. Listen to those signs and get out before getting “cuffed” and tossed in the Spring.  It hurts our feelings and deflates our hopes of finding the right person for us.  It’s just not worth the 3 or 4 months of cuddling and company.  We’re worth so much more that being a body pillow for someone else, and the hurt never really goes away after being used.  Even with the best intentions it hurts us so DON’T do it.

Signs of A Cuffing Situation (If one of more of these criteria happen, it points to a possible cuffing): It’s fall time, a person wants to be “friends” but also wants to snuggle, no talk of future plans, ex flames popping out of no where to rekindle, no real clear definition of what the relation is. No real dates out, just home time, No valentines/xmas day presents, Never meeting friends or family of theirs. And no talk of anything serious. Come spring there will distancing guaranteed. I know from experience.

Netflix and Chill? One doesn’t need to “cuff” another body to feel cozy and warm at home. Being single during the holidays can be peaceful with out being pathetic.

Ok, so not that I’ve made it clear Cuffing is harmful and unhealthy, moving on to other unhealthy winter holiday habits:

2. Do not over eat, drink or spend

Over consumption is a problem in developed countries because we are bored and food and drink is so easy to come across. There is never a shortage of something to stuff our faces with, drinks and vices to indulge in, and selections of physical goods to purchase.  But what ends up happening during the holidays is we hate ourselves for letting our figures go, feel low on energy from over indulging and are broke from buying too much and spending too much…

Always think before consuming something…Ask why we are consuming. If it’s food, is it because we are hungry, or filling a void?; if it’s wine, ask if we want to relax a little, or just ignore our problems?; if it’s consumerism ask if we need these items or are we buying it as a form or retail therapy or to show off to someone. Our actions and motivations matter and affect us in the long run even after the holidays going all the way to the New Year.  Time to have positive energy.

3. Do not lounge at home like a slob

Even if we are at home during the holidays and have no plans to work, go outside or see people, don’t do  the house thing in a sloppy way. A good practice is to shower, wear nice home clothes, that are both comfortable, and look good, like we are the star in our own movie. Nobody sees us, but we see us. I like to check myself at home by thinking if my ex saw me, would I be embarrassed or avenged by the way that I look? Would I send him reeling with desire for another chance with me? Or would I make him happy by seeing I was put together? Or would he pity me for seeming to fall apart after him? It’s better to aim for pretty loungewear that actually say I’m taking care of myself than sloppy dirty bum clothes. We feel how we look. Enough said.

4. Don’t isolate at home:

There are lots of people that care about us, and think about us. It’s important to communicate, socialize and reach out to people and their offer of company. So many times in our lives, we see people and friends as a distraction from the more “important” things in our lives. (ie. career and making money) But truthfully speaking, people are all that we’ve got that has meaning in our lives. So instead of looking inward during the holidays, be open to looking outwards and beyond. Existence is not about our work, but it’s about the riches of spending time to smell the roses or spending time with loved ones.

Mid Summer’s Day Dream…

~ Emmie Reve ~ Leave a comment

This summer 2023 has been a difficult one for me. With my decision to not travel and just save up for winter holidays, I feel I had inadvertently set myself up to be locked up in a slump. City life during the hot months in Toronto is not the most relaxing or pretty. Construction, sticky smoggy air, bad traffic and noise is the reality of summer in the city. I realized how some people, the “elite people”; i.e.. the well-to-do people of Toronto get to go away in their fancy cars and drive up north to the various scenic lakefront properties they own or rent. They get to have a real getaway rather easily, and spend lots of their weekends by sitting on the dock on a quiet lake and watching the waves, and just truly recharging.

I feel like this summer in particular, I had the need for escaping. But unfortunately, I could not. Certain aspects of my personal life and work life had gotten hectic; not being able to foresee this happening earlier this spring, as mid summer arrived, I was hit! I was left in a lot of emotional turmoil with no exit or break from it in sight. I did end up taking a week off of work…but then what? I thought to myself on the first few days of my staycation..This so called “vacation” ultimately would require me to work at turning off my brain and anxieties without a true physical getaway. I had to plan local outings, I had to find my friends. And on days where those options weren’t available I was truly unhappy. There is nothing worse that being on a vacation where I could not escape the boredom or malaise that was my life while it was summer in the city. I don’t have AC, so imagine me heatedly crouched over my bed post to stretch myself to the window to smoke mini cigars. That was my one of my escapes as weak as it was.

My week of being off work is coming to an end and I still think about how if I had been more privileged or luckier in life I too could have been one of those free people up at the cottage when us low folk down here have to work and toil. And if not work and toil, take staycations that are just unpaid unrelaxing wastes of times. My only solace was to splurge a bit and spend a half a day at a nice pool lounge in downtown Toronto. With no one bothering me and my surroundings being totally new, it was a lovely change from my usual routine. Sitting poolside or near any body of water always seems to calm me and the cool breeze of the rooftop pool was comforting. It made me forget some of my pains.

After that moment of solitude by the pool…I feel it is possible to have some beautiful moments in trying times…looking at what possessions and resources others had and what I didn’t was not what I should have been doing. But after a week off with some torturously boring moments where I wondered what I was doing with my life, I had the advantage of an good expanse of time; where I was able to examine my own resources and mobilize to use them. I was able to put down my mini cigar and realize that there are little pieces of paradise in the city and in our minds if we only allow ourselves to find it.

Working hard or hardly working? When at the poolside who really knows? This was my tiny escape from summer in Toronto with no cottage.