To be or not to be…(blonde, that is)

Over the years I’ve sported many hair colours. As a naturally dark haired Asian woman, I’ve always been fascinated by any hair colour other than black since anything other color was always tricky to acquire. It required chemicals like ammonia and peroxide to lift my dark hair so that other colours could be seen. And even then, black hair generally lifts to a horrendous reddish orange; not an easy colour to cover up. Black hair is beautiful, shiny and deep, but for the me, the desire of having a colour of something else less ordinary was constantly in my mind.

In highschool, it was boxed dyes and over the counter concoctions of brown hair that I aimed for. But the results from boxed dye were barely noticeable, yet rendered my black hair a little bit more fried and red looking,. It wasn’t until much later on in my life that I dared to play with bleach lightener on my hair and take a dabble in “toning”, a part of being blonde. But I felt I always had to go back to black. It was hard to constantly be a different colour. I did have a phase where I sported more fantasy colors like a purple, by lifting my black hair and then adding a sheer purple color on. Over the years I have written many articles about changing hair colours, but it wasn’t until I went to hair college and learned professionally how to lighten hair, that I really dared to go all blonde and stay this way. I now am pretty much permanently sporting a light blonde all over hair colour and touching up my roots every couple of months or so.

Some links to past posts I did about hair colour (I really did like to play around a lot)

I do like being blonde. The saying blondes have more fun may be true…but aesthetically speaking, I feel it suits my pale skin tone and compliments my small eyes, and small face by not being too striking in darkness to compete for attention. Blonde hair has a way of fading away into the background and letting face make-up have a say. Also, I love the way lighter hair can support more delicate shades of colour that on darker hair would be unnoticed. For example silver blonde looks much different than sunny blonde but it is just a few tones clicks away on the scale. Also being blonde and Asian is very unique and lets me escape the mundanity of standard black hair that I was born into. Despite blonde hair being an uber sexualized hair colour in culture, there is power in embracing this beauty ideal when in an attempt to break the negative stereo types that come with it. Blondes are not dumb. I actually feel very smart and accomplished when light haired. It gives me a reason to speak up and project the way I wish to be perceived. I want to express that women are more than the sum of their parts; i.e. the colour of their hair or skin. We should be defined by our character and actions, much more so than our physical appearance. Having control over how one is physically perceived is very powerful because of the freedom of choice it presents.

This is how I maintain a blonde colour at home (I went to hair college, so I don’t actually recommend others to play with lightener):

My roots have grown in. Bleeck. I don’t mind this look, but any longer than an inch of dark hair looks too unkept for me!!! Time to touch up my base.
I don’t recommend doing this at home, but I’m a professional, so it’s ok! It is tricky not overlapping previously lightened hair, especially at the back, which is why I experience breakage from time to time. I have to carefully apply lightener on my base twice to lift it to yellow.
Not done yet. My roots are lifted to my max level, but it’s the wrong tone. Don’t that shade of banana! My next step is toning. I like to wait a few days to let my hair rest. Then I apply a demi permanent hair colour in an ash base to get rid of the warmth. I boost the toning power by adding a violet dye to the forumula! It’s complicated to colour correct properly, so again, leave this to the professionals.
Tada! All done. This photo is actually taken a few shampoos after toning, so some of the excess color has washed off. I like to over tone my blonde hair so that as it washes out, the colour stays even…I think my blonde colour is like a silvery beige. I really like how soft and natural it is. Like maybe I was born with it!

Why Working at L’Occitane (or any cosmetic giant) is the worst

I am not ever going to work for any corporate cosmetic giant again ever.  Why? That industry is just really, really fake.  From the fake smiles from management, to the fake unnatural ingredients and scents in products, I just never seem to like these corporate conglomerates that spew goo onto the masses and say that it’s skincare, that it’s beautifying.  What it is is actually taxing. To our minds, bodies and souls.  Not one of them is good. There is no difference between L’oreal, Body Shop, Bath and Body Works, and even the classy, upscale philanthropic L’Occitane En Provence. They are all about the bottom line, semi-decent products, and they don’t value their employees at all.  Most recently I gave L’Occitane a chance, and in the past I have also worked at Bath and Body Works, and you can hear about the gripes here in another article.

Okay, so I still have their sales apron...but I didn't snag it. It was actually because they were not clear when my last day would be, and I had optimistically taken it home thinking I'd be there again...
Okay, so I still have their sales apron…but I didn’t snag it. It was actually because they were not clear when my last day would be, and I had optimistically taken it home thinking I’d be there again…

When I got the seasonal position at the French cosmetic company L’Occitane last holiday season, I was optimistic about their business model.  I wanted to learn about the cosmetics industry on a corporate level, and compare it to what I did in my own cosmetic studios at dreamecosmetics, and well, my findings were just disillusioning.  Like I mentioned before, it doesn’t matter which corporation is running the show, but all of the cosmetics industry is about profit, and none of it is about self care, healing or learning. They all want to “seem” beautifying, but with a focus on profit, market shareholders, and too many corrupt people in management, it is impossible for them to fill that mission.

Things I learned at L’Occitane that is probably true of all Cosmetic Conglomerates:

  1. They only care about making sales, and it doesn’t matter how: When I was on the sales floor as a seasonal rep, management was always nervous about me helping customers.  Like I would negate a sale, and that their other permanent reps would do better.  Well, what about letting me learn, and earn my keep there?  No, they preferred that I defer customers to other staff rather than I learn how to sell their product. Short term gains over long term investment in educating me to be part of their team. Typical.
  2. The products were over priced, over hyped, and just idealized too much.  L’Occitane’s hair care, skin care, and perfumes were at least triple the price of most common name brands at the pharmacy, and they did little to justify the cost of them.  Instead we had to focus on the heritage of the company, how it was a beautiful region of France that it originated from, and how this magically meant that a hand cream could be $32 a tube.  Well, even if they were slightly better in quality, did we really have to believe that it was made of rainbows and centuries of heritage from the south of France?  No, obviously not.  But we had to pedal that image to customers, or face the wrath of being sent to the stock room. Which leads me to point 3…
  3. I got sent to the stockroom to do menial tasks more often than not. I was really good with customers and had knowledge about skincare and fashion, but instead of using this knowledge, they put me in the backroom to unload stock for most of the day, then sent me back to the sales floor, then sent me back to the stock.  I wasn’t treated like I was a valuable part of the team. Why hire seasonal sales staff if you are not willing to treat them well for the short time they are there? I cut my fingers deeply twice during the time that I worked there, because of the menial tasking they delegated to me…and I was not hired to be a backroom stock person, seasonal or not.
  4. Management fakery: This was the main reason of all my stress there.  Because head office only spoke with the managers and only looked at the bottom line, a crappy manager could get away with a lot, and even get a promotion (which she did during the time I was there to District Manager).  The manager for L’Occitane told me I had a good chance at getting a permanent position after serving my seasonal one, but also hired another seasonal staff that I felt I had to compete with.  Even though I felt I was the more qualified one (ie. years of retail experience) the other seasonal eventually became permanent.  In hindsight, I doubt that the manager ever wanted to put me as a permanent staff.  She just wanted to use me for the short period and then drop me the minute she could…which is what she did in the most unprofessional manner: She didn’t even tell me that they would not be renewing my contract.  I had to assume this when she sent me a staff schedule that didn’t have dates past my contract end.  That’s right…I was just supposed to shrivel away….and disappear.  As if!
  5. They had the laziest permanent staff: I never saw a more lazy sales team than that of the permanent staff at L’Occitane.  They complained about standing around with nothing to do.  They chatted and gossiped at large about nothing in particular, and the worst of their problems was who would get the early shift the next day.  Customers were annoying to them, and they often didn’t even like the products they sold and were dispassionate. They barely shared information with me about what they knew about the company, and often compensated for their professional distance with asking personal questions about my private life.  All in all, it was not cool, and I have never felt less useful as a worker in my life.  And this was at a posh store like L’Occitane.  It’s sad, really.
  6. Brand Image Hypocrisy: Because of the high prices/high end image L’Occitane held in the marketplace, they had to have a more “philanthropic” image to show to the public.  They often talked about how they donate to noble causes such as associations for the blind, and “Dress for Success”; an initiative that gave second hand clothes to marginalized women so that they can get jobs.  Now here is the irony: I’m sure L’occitane hires a lot of women in need during the holidays as seasonal sales.  And well, what would of been nice of them to do was not only to pay our temporary wages, but to instill management to treat the seasonal staff with more respect–it doesn’t cost the bottom line. If a company wants to support under-served women and community…why not start with their staff?  I am a long time retail worker, I could use a bit of respect on top of the meager wages any day.

After finding out the hard way that they didn’t renew my contract, I was obviously upset. The manager encouraged me to keep in contact with the company and the store, so that they can keep having a relationship with me as a worker.  But honestly, corporations that alienate the work force have little to no chance of a relationship with me. If I was a valuable member of their sales team last holiday, then ultimately it’s their loss, and not mine.

 

Summer’s over: Views on single life from movie View from the Top!

This was my first summer as a single girl in about 5 years, can you imagine? I have been in a long term relationship since then that ended early this year in the spring, and I have never looked back.  Not even once.  How is it that I have found so much comfort in being on my own, when the whole world seems to be looking for relationships and romance?  I don’t know, but the reality of it is…a relationship is a lot of work!  As women, we put so much into dating and our boyfriends, and when we think about it, how productive would we be if we were single, spent our time on ourselves, our work and career, our family and friends?  We could finally be the “super” women that is expected of us–to be everything and more.

I recently saw the movie “View from the Top” again, as it was playing TV, and I remembered why I liked it.  It was on the W Network, which is notorious for showcasing sappy rom coms that bombed with critics and viewers alike.  And the movie “View from the Top”, from 2003, was no exception.  It was a critical flop, but I actually really loved this movie many reasons: It talked about beauty, ambition–it was about a woman’s journey for love and career, and it was also pretty funny (Mike Myers was in it). Donna Jenkins (Gwyneth Paltrow) is a woman with a mission to become a flight attendant, but not just any flight attendant, but to be the best.  She has to choose between the man who loves her and her career destiny, and is back stabbed by her girl friend along the way, hence an over the top cat fight scene with Christina Applegate.  Loved it. So much fun. (**spoilers of the movie ahead, beware…)

I like the retro glam of this movie...as it seems to make reference to the hey days of flying...
I like the retro glam of this movie…as it seems to make reference to the hey days of flying…

Reasons why “View from the Top” was not a turkey: (*spoilers)

  1. It is about following your dreams. Whatever they might be. Donna wanted to be a flight attendant, and loved the glamour and worldly prestige it gave her: to be elegant, classy and well-traveled, which seemed to be the antidote of her upbringing in a trailer park in a no-where town.  Even if you have no desire to be a flight attendant, it is a metaphor to go for your dreams whatever they may be…and to be ambitious about it.

    A great scene from the movie with her gal pals as they try to get out of their small town beginnings...
    A great scene from the movie with her gal pals as they try to get out of their small town beginnings…
  2. Donna put her career before her man. Here she was, with Ted (Mark Ruffalo) telling her he was in love with her, and to stay with him in Cleveland, but she chose to go to Paris, as a first class flight attendant, because she believed it was her true calling.  She put her needs first.

    Mark Ruffalo before being the Hulk. Just the perfect boyfriend to tempt a gal to lose sight of her goals!
    Mark Ruffalo before being the Hulk. Just the perfect boyfriend to tempt a gal to lose sight of her goals!
  3. After realizing she made a mistake, Donna takes responsibility for it and fixes it.  When Donna realized she loved Ted back and had proven to herself she could be the top at what she does, only then does she go back to Ted in Cleveland, and tells him she wants to be with him.  It proves she is on her own journey, and not on his.

    When Donna finally makes it! love the perfect make-up and hair. Gone were her tacky trailer park ways.
    When Donna finally makes it! love the perfect make-up and hair. Gone were her tacky trailer park ways.
  4. Paltrow gives a great performance on the eternal struggle of beauty vs brains vs ambition and is always super pretty, whether in her hicktown get ups, or in her evolution to classy Parisian lady. Fashion and make-up wise, what more can you ask for?

    Go girl, you classy fashionista! What a gorgeous departure from how she used to look. What a make-over!
    Go girl, you classy fashionista! What a gorgeous departure from how she used to look. What a make-over!

But back to my own thoughts of my summer on my own:  I’ve loved it.  I’ve launched my company selling online cosmetics with natural ingredients: dreamecosmetics.com, spent quality time with friends and family, and have just realized how nice it is to not have a boyfriend.  To be my own person, trying to make a living, and trying to live in this world. 🙂  I am not saying that “View from the Top” was negative for making Donna need to be with Ted in conclusion (as so many people had complained). I respect all choices of women, but boy am I glad to be on my own and aiming for the top, with no regrets or desire to settle any time soon.