Valentines’ Day: A day for lovers? or for loving oneself…

February 14, 2024February 14, 2024 ~ Emmie Reve ~ Leave a comment

Midwinter has set into North America and while most of us are dreaming of warmer days and the sun, this peculiar holiday of Valentines’ Day pops up. Almost as if to validate the desperate souls that hunkered down with a body earlier in the winter; even so “cuffed” couples and couples of convenience don’t count. Solidarity in friendships, family relationships/love don’t count. No the irony and pain of Valentines is to celebrate a certain kind of love: Serious LTR kinds of love. Husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends. And every other kind of love can kiss it’s butt. Valentines is very exclusive, and attempts to include other types of relationships/love are often rejected–deemed as pathetic. (the way one of my girlfriends shuddered at the thought of “Galentines” Day will forever taint my mind). I will detail this holiday’s ability to exclude: At the end of the day it celebrates something that not everyone has or can have: A committed love relationship.

Getting more personal, my last Valentines was rather sad and lonely. Not because I was single, but because I wasn’t. In fact all my unpleasant Valentines fell into years where I was “with” somebody. And that says a lot. It says that Valentines reminds us that the amorous relationships we have are not always the perfect mainstream ones that are deemed as acceptable. Last year my ex only texted me “Happy Valentines” on the day of. There were no gifts, no dinner, no chocolates or flowers. Not even a hang out or make out session. It really framed how much it sucked to be in a non serious relationship, and the sting that this holiday highlights. I really cared about my ex and I’m not bitter that he didn’t take me out for an overpriced dinner, buy me flowers or jewelry. But as a make-up expert, it hurt me that I had didn’t have a reason to preen, I had no pressure at all. It left me feeling more unloved than ever. And looking into my past, even the years where I had a legitimate boyfriend, I always stressed that we would not celebrate epically enough to represent our love relationship. Feeling actually loved on Valentines days is so hard to attain, in my experience. And again, I’m not bitter, just sad and feeling like I’m missing out. Is this why this holiday was created? The exclude the uncoupled and put pressure on the coupled to buy things?

This year, I’m actually happy for once. I’m at peace and not even the slightest bit lonely or desperate. How did I get so pleasantly at ease and grateful to be single? I feel the hurt is not worth it. I am not expected to celebrate Valentines Day nor do I want to. I am so thankful for the chance to overlook it, and to watch the real, actual healthy love couples celebrate it. And I can be happy for them. Those lucky ones that have found that someone special and it means something. And I feel lucky myself. Lucky to find myself excluded from Valentines, a holiday that has eluded to give me joy even when I was in a relationship. We all need something real something to celebrate. Or not at all.

I believe self love, acceptance and respect is where it all begins. And understanding we are whole beings even if we are not coupled. Heart shapes represent any kind of love.❤️

Yes! There is more work in Haircare for Coloured Hair…

November 9, 2023 ~ Emmie Reve ~ Leave a comment

I’ve been wanting to talk about how often I have heard this reason people use for not coloring their hair: It’s often because in the past the hair colour (especially lightening) had “wrecked” their hair health and it didn’t look good the subsequent weeks after the process….and I have only one thing to say to that. That’s not really a reason not to colour! Lightening and colouring hair doesn’t have to be inherently damaging. Coloured hair does however require more work, time and cost to maintain it’s health afterwards. It’s the sentiment that anything that’s worth having takes WORK. It’s like how committing to a more streamlined body may require more hours at the gym, wherein the goal for exercise is no longer about health–it’s about achieving or maintaining a look. It’s about being willing to put in extra effort to get the look we want! As a hairdresser I know about the high cost of maintenance so I agree that for some, it’s sometimes not worth it. But for that practical reason, it’s a “different song and dance”.

This is my hair colour when it’s not styled. But even so. a lot goes into this look including not washing it often, leave in treatments, oils…etc.

The Hurdles of Hair Colour And After-Care:

Retouches: Hair grows…the last I checked, so that means after two months about an inch of regrowth is expected. While the natural hair color is okay on it’s own, the line that happens when the new growth meets existing artificial colour is usually not flattering. Here’s where maintenance is required. Refreshing the roots of the hair is a must and the most that a root smudge can do is prolong the need for refreshing.
Re-toning: Even if a root retouch is not necessary, sometimes toning is. Artificial colour is not really permanent, even if it says it is. After exposure to shampoos and the sun, the hair colour will fade, leaving behind the brassiness that was previously covered up. Re-toning is often a procedure for blondes and cool toned brunettes when the colour fades.
Excessive Dryness: because the cuticle of the hair needs to be lifted to be coloured, it never lies as flat as it did before dying. That means the hair strand’s ability to hold onto moisture will be compromised. Heavy conditioners with moisturizing properties must be utilize to maintain shine and mitigate frizz! Leave-ins and oils too!
Weaker hair prone to breakage: Colouring hair depletes some of the proteins/keratins in the hair strand making it more prone to breakage. Keratin repair masks will be needed occasionally to help strengthen the hair and prevent breakage. This is especially true for blondes that were lifted starting from very dark bases.
Change in haircare routines: Because coloured hair tends to be more fragile, it often benefits from less washing and styling. Shampooing lowers the natural pH in the hair and does cause it physical stress. We love the feeling of squeaky clean hair but seeking that too frequently comes at as cost. A new routine of less washing and more leave in conditioners and oils become the daily norm!
Extra styling: Wash and go. That’s a term we all love! It means after shampooing and conditioning, little styling or products are needed. Air drying, and just a quick rough tumble under the hair dryer at most. But often after colouring, hair needs more styling to get the hair looking less frizzy; extra products and heat tools like a flat iron might be needed to make the hair look smooth!

Is this too much work and maintenance for having a different hair colour? But that is the true cost of hair colour…in the end, I guess it is to each their own. But that’s the reality of anything done for cosmetic reasons. It takes work. But doesn’t mean we shouldn’t do it! For me, hair is like a canvas for expression, but as an extension of our bodies, it is also more than that.

This is the heavy line up of arsenals I use for my blonde care! A gentle shampoo, moisture mask, purple toning conditioner, anti breakage leave in, K18 treatment, coconut oil, and a wet brush to name a few!!!!

How to make use of old perfumes and scents!

September 26, 2023September 26, 2023 ~ Emmie Reve ~ Leave a comment

I started this journal with an entry about perfumes and scents! This was all the way in 2013 when I was working in fashion retail and started learning more about the cosmetics world! There is lots to know about cosmetics and make-up and I feel it continues to be an important tool for self expression in today’s confusing world of hustle and bustle for the bottom line and political power. None of these worldly ideals have the power to make us happy or feel well adjusted with our bodies or with our soul. While the perfect lipstick colour will not make world domination anywhere closer, for most people, feeling good about our appearances is a good place to start. And in that sentiment, a lovely scent that completes our look is also essential. We have to enjoy our image physically to help tackle the daily stresses that our lives put us through. Whether it is political, professional, personal or psychological conflicts, something doesn’t change; we are connected to the public world and the face we put on matters…and even the pandemic of epic proportions that imposed extreme social isolation a few years back has not erased the need for beauty.

This is my current mish mash of scents that I relocated to another bottle!

I went through a troubling break up earlier this year. One that was so difficult it caused me to lose some of my hair, question my ability to deserve a long-term fulfilling relationship and distract me from what matters the most: How to be a happy person. It’s not about who I’m with. Who I am with doesn’t give identity, elegance or a sense of feeling whole. These things are found emotionally within and manifested externally. They are the things that give strength and enable us to be useful and helpful to those we care about. Together with all of my own aesthetic experiences and now that I practice working professionally in the beauty industry as a hair stylist…one thing is constant. It has to come from within first. We have to feel beautiful inside first, before we can manifest this beauty outwards. There has to be a sense of wellness. There has to be respect for our time, bodies and minds first. I feel that you can seek advice from any professional, but to be honest, it all begins with how we view ourselves.

What does my ramble have to do with perfumes and scents? I wonder this myself as I write this. I am saying that we all have that pile of cosmetics that we bought on impulse, thinking they would make us happy, but for some reason, the pile sits as a rarely used collection of dusty intentions. Wanting to feel sexy or pretty or fun has made us buy these things: the beauty industry is guilty of ramming products down our throats. Business and marketing makes us buy it, but that’s not how these cosmetics work…technically it all starts with a connection to ourselves. Even the most beautiful people in the world have had adversities to overcome; failed relationships, cheating partners, addictions and been flawed in the most human way. But it’s about how we over come obstacles that make us unique and beautiful. In that way the dusty perfume collection can be seen as some of the ways we tried to escape our troubles, and soothe ourselves.

Instead of buying new scents to feel beautiful, make a “Frankenstein” scent. Gather unused, uninspired scents and mix them all together into an empty spray bottle! The singular scents that I thought I liked, but later stopped wearing can now have new life breathed into them by mixing them all together! Most perfumes have the same alcohol base. That means different scents can be combined and blended seamlessly. There is no recipe or order. Only that most perfume bottles can’t be uncapped. So it may mean tediously filing another bottle spray by spray by spritzing it in! But it’s worth it to not waste the leftover scents! Blending them all together will make something that smells amazing. Like a rebirth, lifting us from the ashes of our mistakes. It’s a renewal on the smallest most simplest level just by spritzing it on and donning a smile.

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