Category: psychology

How I had Winter Fun up North, when the Pandemic took away travel options..

~ Emmie ~ Leave a comment

Everybody who knows me, knows I can’t stand the cold. I am not a winter person. Even as a born and raised Canadian, I can’t skate, ski, or play hockey….all of the things that would make winter worthwhile. Without an interest in winter sports, all I have to look forward to as an urbanite in Toronto winters are slushy dirty snow, traffic accidents, public transit delays, a sun that sets at 5pm, and the depression constant darkness brings. It’s a season that gives me nothing, other than a gut from over eating out of boredom, and the lack of the ability to get outside for fear of being frozen. So for travel ideas if given a chance to chose in a non-pandemic travel world, one would find me on a white sand beach, or walking down big city streets, or soaking up culture in the finest museums internationally.

With the start of this year’s holiday season, it was also the start of another variant of Covid, and again the usual patterns of hibernating, being bored at home was all too tempting. But having time off work put pressure on me to think outside the box. Avoiding the stress from all the international travel restrictions, I instead planned a trip up North to a small cottage town called Bracebridge in Muskoka, a very picturesque area of Ontario that I never explored before. And thus launched the idea that maybe I could have fun this winter. Think trees, a lovely winding river and quietness. My son and I enjoyed days in with a magnificent view and cozy comfort food at the Inn’s pub. What I learned was winter could be beautiful and starting the New Year seemed positive. Travelling to remote areas in the winter has it’s perks, and while it’s no tropical paradise, it was relaxing and replenished me somehow.

On a hill with a bridge. Overlooking the river, my inn was just in the buildings behind.

Why Leaving the City for a Northern Getaway Worked:

  1. Traveling out of the city to a remote small town meant I didn’t have to get on a plane to go somewhere new and unexplored. And while Muskoka area was not too different from Toronto climate (albeit much colder), just the fact that getting there didn’t rely on delays, stress and customs at an airport, made it enjoyable. A two hour bus ride was all it took.
  2. I was by the beautiful Muskoka river and it was quiet and serene: Toronto doesn’t have big areas of peaceful water. It’s busy and hectic to get down to the harbour front and cold and windy to be near Lake Ontario during the winter. It’s hard to enjoy winter in the city. But it was pristine up North.
  3. “Baby it’s cold outside”: Just like the Christmas song implies, I didn’t need to be outside to have fun up North. I invested in a gorgeous suite that overlooked the river on a ravine. It was cold outside so after an afternoon of hiking around outside, I could return to my suite and just hibernate all night by the faux fireplace while enjoying Netflix and the view. Being inside and aiming to isolate never felt so right.
  4. The locals up north were friendly: Toronto is a grumpy city. Forget that we are supposed to be “nice Canadians” we just aren’t. So when I get random “happy new years” greetings from locals and staff it’s actually really nice.
  5. Because small towns are less populated, there is less adherence to strict Covid methods, such as I was barely screened for vaccination when dining, and there was just a calmer outlook when in public.

All in all I had fun up North in the small town of Bracebridge and that surprised me, considering I going somewhere colder and more remote based on pandemic restrictions. But this trip proved that sometimes being in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of winter can be fun.

On a steel bridge in Bracebridge feeling the small town charm, forgetting the cold!

To be or not to be…(blonde, that is)

~ Emmie ~ Leave a comment

Over the years I’ve sported many hair colours. As a naturally dark haired Asian woman, I’ve always been fascinated by any hair colour other than black since anything other color was always tricky to acquire. It required chemicals like ammonia and peroxide to lift my dark hair so that other colours could be seen. And even then, black hair generally lifts to a horrendous reddish orange; not an easy colour to cover up. Black hair is beautiful, shiny and deep, but for the me, the desire of having a colour of something else less ordinary was constantly in my mind.

In highschool, it was boxed dyes and over the counter concoctions of brown hair that I aimed for. But the results from boxed dye were barely noticeable, yet rendered my black hair a little bit more fried and red looking,. It wasn’t until much later on in my life that I dared to play with bleach lightener on my hair and take a dabble in “toning”, a part of being blonde. But I felt I always had to go back to black. It was hard to constantly be a different colour. I did have a phase where I sported more fantasy colors like a purple, by lifting my black hair and then adding a sheer purple color on. Over the years I have written many articles about changing hair colours, but it wasn’t until I went to hair college and learned professionally how to lighten hair, that I really dared to go all blonde and stay this way. I now am pretty much permanently sporting a light blonde all over hair colour and touching up my roots every couple of months or so.

Some links to past posts I did about hair colour (I really did like to play around a lot)

I do like being blonde. The saying blondes have more fun may be true…but aesthetically speaking, I feel it suits my pale skin tone and compliments my small eyes, and small face by not being too striking in darkness to compete for attention. Blonde hair has a way of fading away into the background and letting face make-up have a say. Also, I love the way lighter hair can support more delicate shades of colour that on darker hair would be unnoticed. For example silver blonde looks much different than sunny blonde but it is just a few tones clicks away on the scale. Also being blonde and Asian is very unique and lets me escape the mundanity of standard black hair that I was born into. Despite blonde hair being an uber sexualized hair colour in culture, there is power in embracing this beauty ideal when in an attempt to break the negative stereo types that come with it. Blondes are not dumb. I actually feel very smart and accomplished when light haired. It gives me a reason to speak up and project the way I wish to be perceived. I want to express that women are more than the sum of their parts; i.e. the colour of their hair or skin. We should be defined by our character and actions, much more so than our physical appearance. Having control over how one is physically perceived is very powerful because of the freedom of choice it presents.

This is how I maintain a blonde colour at home (I went to hair college, so I don’t actually recommend others to play with lightener):

My roots have grown in. Bleeck. I don’t mind this look, but any longer than an inch of dark hair looks too unkept for me!!! Time to touch up my base.
I don’t recommend doing this at home, but I’m a professional, so it’s ok! It is tricky not overlapping previously lightened hair, especially at the back, which is why I experience breakage from time to time. I have to carefully apply lightener on my base twice to lift it to yellow.
Not done yet. My roots are lifted to my max level, but it’s the wrong tone. Don’t that shade of banana! My next step is toning. I like to wait a few days to let my hair rest. Then I apply a demi permanent hair colour in an ash base to get rid of the warmth. I boost the toning power by adding a violet dye to the forumula! It’s complicated to colour correct properly, so again, leave this to the professionals.
Tada! All done. This photo is actually taken a few shampoos after toning, so some of the excess color has washed off. I like to over tone my blonde hair so that as it washes out, the colour stays even…I think my blonde colour is like a silvery beige. I really like how soft and natural it is. Like maybe I was born with it!

Stay classy, stay cool, girl…have better karma

~ Emmie ~ Leave a comment

Mean Girls? That movie that was made in the 2000’s that described the modern day climate of girls/young women’s relations with each other was mostly Hollywood drama, or was it? I feel in a lot of industries including the one that I am in, there is a lot of volatile competition and a lack of sisterhood. But where does this culture of women not helping each other, but instead are secretly hating/jealous/competing come from? Why is it not shunned, and why is it accepted as norm? Movies like Mean Girls glorify cattiness between girls like it’s entertainment. The truth is, it’s just sad…the world is a messed up place; There are murders, there are political scandals and corruptions, there is rape, assault and all kinds of pain. So why add to it by competing with your fellow peers, just because they are women? Aren’t there enough men to go around…aren’t there enough jobs, resources and love to go around? Why do so many young women turn to manipulation/scheming/passive aggressiveness towards their female peers? If looking at the male population, their culture is “bros before hoes.” They help each other out…but why doesn’t that make sense  for women? What is it about the female gender that makes it impossible to be genuine with each other?

Ways to Solve Female Animosity and build  community:

  1. Don’t get jealous: Girls are often afflicted with the crippling emotion of jealousy and envy of others girl’s fortunes. Think about all the work they had to put in to get where they are and how they deserve their current status. There is never really anyone who succeeds on looks, or charm alone. That woman that has it all probably worked her butt off for it and deserves respect.
  2. It’s not enough to focus on yourself: Ever met a girl who was a mess and needed some help and guidance? A girl who needed a friend because she wasn’t fitting in? It’s a fellow girl’s duty to help out by fostering her and not judging her. It’s about thinking about others in relation to ourselves.
  3. Don’t distrespect/overlook girls that are below rank, or are not in power: In a world where power dynamics can change at a snap of a finger, that girl that was beneath can come out on top literally the next day. Be nice to her at all times to maintain personal integrity if ever faced with rank changes and just to be cool in general.
  4. Be competitive, but be fair: Yes, often there is only one spot for a job, and yes often there is one guy that is awesome enough to attract a few women, but in the end, let the best candidate win. Don’t resort of bad mouthing, passive aggressive attacking, or snide actions that sabotage other women vying for the same thing. Have peace in performing to one’s best abilities and playing fair in competition. Talented people have feelings too, and deserve to get what they deserve.

All of these things are so important when living in a community of female peers that have similar talents and aptitudes as each us. So why not celebrate everyone’s excellence instead of trying to get ahead of the woman who is perceived to be a threat…in a real sense, befriending her could be a chance at an ally in our own times of need.