Category: work

Mid Summer’s Day Dream…

~ Emmie ~ Leave a comment

This summer 2023 has been a difficult one for me. With my decision to not travel and just save up for winter holidays, I feel I had inadvertently set myself up to be locked up in a slump. City life during the hot months in Toronto is not the most relaxing or pretty. Construction, sticky smoggy air, bad traffic and noise is the reality of summer in the city. I realized how some people, the “elite people”; i.e.. the well-to-do people of Toronto get to go away in their fancy cars and drive up north to the various scenic lakefront properties they own or rent. They get to have a real getaway rather easily, and spend lots of their weekends by sitting on the dock on a quiet lake and watching the waves, and just truly recharging.

I feel like this summer in particular, I had the need for escaping. But unfortunately, I could not. Certain aspects of my personal life and work life had gotten hectic; not being able to foresee this happening earlier this spring, as mid summer arrived, I was hit! I was left in a lot of emotional turmoil with no exit or break from it in sight. I did end up taking a week off of work…but then what? I thought to myself on the first few days of my staycation..This so called “vacation” ultimately would require me to work at turning off my brain and anxieties without a true physical getaway. I had to plan local outings, I had to find my friends. And on days where those options weren’t available I was truly unhappy. There is nothing worse that being on a vacation where I could not escape the boredom or malaise that was my life while it was summer in the city. I don’t have AC, so imagine me heatedly crouched over my bed post to stretch myself to the window to smoke mini cigars. That was my one of my escapes as weak as it was.

My week of being off work is coming to an end and I still think about how if I had been more privileged or luckier in life I too could have been one of those free people up at the cottage when us low folk down here have to work and toil. And if not work and toil, take staycations that are just unpaid unrelaxing wastes of times. My only solace was to splurge a bit and spend a half a day at a nice pool lounge in downtown Toronto. With no one bothering me and my surroundings being totally new, it was a lovely change from my usual routine. Sitting poolside or near any body of water always seems to calm me and the cool breeze of the rooftop pool was comforting. It made me forget some of my pains.

After that moment of solitude by the pool…I feel it is possible to have some beautiful moments in trying times…looking at what possessions and resources others had and what I didn’t was not what I should have been doing. But after a week off with some torturously boring moments where I wondered what I was doing with my life, I had the advantage of an good expanse of time; where I was able to examine my own resources and mobilize to use them. I was able to put down my mini cigar and realize that there are little pieces of paradise in the city and in our minds if we only allow ourselves to find it.

Working hard or hardly working? When at the poolside who really knows? This was my tiny escape from summer in Toronto with no cottage.

How I try to look like an off duty model…

~ Emmie ~ Leave a comment

I grew up in the 90’s where the now familiar term “super model” was coined. The fashion model was not only an unattainable example of female physical beauty, but it was also a lifestyle that was coveted by many teenagers in my days. Travel, fashion, culture and a way for young women to make good money was the image the modeling world was trying to show off. We all know later on, that the truth of the industry was far from glamourous; a lot of exploitation, eating disorders and mental health horrors bestowed onto young women that were just barely finished childhood. The pressures of the beauty and fashion world combined to crush the souls of the small percentage of girls that fit the super thin, super tall, and not ethnic look and standard of the runway model.

The trauma of the model culture backlash has since subsided, I feel. Or it could be later in my life as a more experienced woman, I just don’t have the ability to see it as much. But I still remember the fairy tale glamour the modeling industry used to supply me. After two decades of being a mom and living in the biggest city in Canada, traveling and being creative, I feel cultured, educated and worldly. I didn’t have to be a model to get that achievement. As much as the dreams of being a model did charm me in the past, in a way I am glad I never did it. We can find everyday ways to channel our inner diva, our inner model.

One of the fascinating ideas and life styles that I want to adopt from fashion models is the look of when they have days off. Not on the runway. Where once glamourous modelled looks are only suggested by the bare bones look of effortless “cool”. Models on their off days I learned, often have to audition for jobs in what is called “go-sees”. That’s when models often are dressed very basically, very simply…and run around the city to go visit big designers to interview for jobs. In a way, models have to look like a blank canvas, fresh faced, and ready to represent/sell any campaign. They have a daily look that is still polished, but so pure. I like to achieve this look in various ways:

  • Don’t wear make-up. A made up face is a finished, polished product. I like to show my raw potential. So I don’t cover up with any make-up. Just show off a nicely hydrated face. Sunscreen is always flattering because it has a naturally dewy look
  • Have clean, un-styled hair. The reason for this is hair is also a form of expression. So having the hair natural shows texture, colour and potential for different ways of styling. It shows an ability for a range of looks. And that’s exciting.
  • Clothes for go sees are very basic. Tank top and jeans, a white fitted tee, jean skirts. They show off the silhouette of the body without speaking too loudly and distracting from the shapes and forms that already exist. They are casual, carefree clothing. Not sloppy, but not dressy.
  • I try to channel a youthful spirit with my “off duty model” look. I try to show off some humanity, some quirkiness. That’s because I believe even the most beautiful models in the world, are truly very ordinary people. Those that have the right to execute this mundanity in the purest, most effortless way. Daily life in the city as a common person can be very exotic if viewed by top model!
So this is me. My everyday look. Unpolished effortless cool. Would I be hired at a “go-see”? Maybe? haha

Holiday blues and stresses…how to cope

~ Emmie ~ Leave a comment
Christmas tree with lights and all. But who also feels sadness?

The end of the year is upon us so what to do? I know it’s a hard time of year for many and here’s the reasons. We feel obligated to make it perfect, magical and happy. Hallmark movies, and ideas of family togetherness. Getting everything on our wish list and giving the best most amazing gifts. Hitting relationship and career goals, anticipating a holiday vacation that is heavy in price tag and planning…etc. Trying not to over eat, but trying not to miss out on holiday treats. Keeping traditions while not really having time or energy for the rituals we once held dear. It’s never ending the way people stress over the holidays. And in my experience it’s almost always disappointing in some way. I call it my Xmas curse, but I guess it’s inevitable that the end of the year in all of it’s hype, is not all it’s supposed to be.

So how do we cope mentally during such a trying time of the year? How do we find balance and peace during a time that is supposedly all of that and more? The solution can be as simple and complicated as one wants it. But ultimately, it’s all about understanding ourselves and reaching out for what will realistically make a simple solution. Here are my go to’s this year for treating holiday blues:

  1. Have time for myself: People are afraid to be alone during the holidays. And working a lot is the norm as well. The pressure to fill every moment and minute with another being or working overtime to make year end goals, is not quality time. Trying not to feel alone; not scheduling alone time for reflection and isolation is a negative thing. Solitude during this time of year when the first snow hits makes sense. Embrace it. People will always be around, but the quiet beauty of being one with oneself is a fragile state that must be prioritized.
  2. Rest a lot: Being stressed and overwhelmed during the holidays is a natural occurrence. Rest and relaxation is not. Which is why I have to work hard at not working hard. Whether it is skipping groceries for a day and ordering take-out or procrastinating on hanging ornaments and xmas lights…it’s really important to rest. It also helps my immune system during the first cold spell and prevents me from getting sick.
  3. Don’t go shopping: It’s really tempting with all the sales and everyone on the list to not hit the malls frantically and spend. Gifts can be simple and don’t have to be perfect. Spend less time buying and more time thinking about the people you want to gift to. Everything tends to fall into place without too much stress/spending usually. Try to remember that.
  4. Don’t over eat: Let’s be honest, food is comforting. Whenever I feel sad or alone, I am reaching for salty noodle soup, spicey condiments, and tons of delicious fried delicacies. It’s relaxing and rewarding for the moment and releases happy hormones. But the aftermath is guilt and disgust at myself when all my clothes are tight, and I’m not as cute and petite as I like to be. Everything in moderation. I don’t want to deprive myself, but honestly, I don’t have to over indulge.
  5. Watch the drinking: Sometimes during the holidays, we are encouraged to let loose and drink. Especially when things are not panning out the way we want. A boyfriend forgets to call, an argument with a sister; during the holidays, these mishaps feel ten times worse. The quick fix is to grab a cocktail. But drinking heightens emotions and subdues restraints. Meaning one can say things one doesn’t mean, or feel even worse about a situation. I’m not saying not to drink. But stay aware of the amount taken and how it may distort one’s perspective on things.
Happy Holidays. Remember to take care and stay beautiful!

So there it is. My list of things to help me navigate the holiday season, mentally healthy and happy. The end of the year is a time for reflection and no anxiety, so why not make efforts to thwart the tendency for chaos? What better way to right in the new year that to prioritize rest, peace, and self respect? Happy holidays everyone from the bottom of my heart to all this season. And see you on Dreamy Reveries in the new year! I have a lot planned for 2023 here!