To be or not to be…(blonde, that is)

~ Emmie ~ Leave a comment

Over the years I’ve sported many hair colours. As a naturally dark haired Asian woman, I’ve always been fascinated by any hair colour other than black since anything other color was always tricky to acquire. It required chemicals like ammonia and peroxide to lift my dark hair so that other colours could be seen. And even then, black hair generally lifts to a horrendous reddish orange; not an easy colour to cover up. Black hair is beautiful, shiny and deep, but for the me, the desire of having a colour of something else less ordinary was constantly in my mind.

In highschool, it was boxed dyes and over the counter concoctions of brown hair that I aimed for. But the results from boxed dye were barely noticeable, yet rendered my black hair a little bit more fried and red looking,. It wasn’t until much later on in my life that I dared to play with bleach lightener on my hair and take a dabble in “toning”, a part of being blonde. But I felt I always had to go back to black. It was hard to constantly be a different colour. I did have a phase where I sported more fantasy colors like a purple, by lifting my black hair and then adding a sheer purple color on. Over the years I have written many articles about changing hair colours, but it wasn’t until I went to hair college and learned professionally how to lighten hair, that I really dared to go all blonde and stay this way. I now am pretty much permanently sporting a light blonde all over hair colour and touching up my roots every couple of months or so.

Some links to past posts I did about hair colour (I really did like to play around a lot)

I do like being blonde. The saying blondes have more fun may be true…but aesthetically speaking, I feel it suits my pale skin tone and compliments my small eyes, and small face by not being too striking in darkness to compete for attention. Blonde hair has a way of fading away into the background and letting face make-up have a say. Also, I love the way lighter hair can support more delicate shades of colour that on darker hair would be unnoticed. For example silver blonde looks much different than sunny blonde but it is just a few tones clicks away on the scale. Also being blonde and Asian is very unique and lets me escape the mundanity of standard black hair that I was born into. Despite blonde hair being an uber sexualized hair colour in culture, there is power in embracing this beauty ideal when in an attempt to break the negative stereo types that come with it. Blondes are not dumb. I actually feel very smart and accomplished when light haired. It gives me a reason to speak up and project the way I wish to be perceived. I want to express that women are more than the sum of their parts; i.e. the colour of their hair or skin. We should be defined by our character and actions, much more so than our physical appearance. Having control over how one is physically perceived is very powerful because of the freedom of choice it presents.

This is how I maintain a blonde colour at home (I went to hair college, so I don’t actually recommend others to play with lightener):

My roots have grown in. Bleeck. I don’t mind this look, but any longer than an inch of dark hair looks too unkept for me!!! Time to touch up my base.
I don’t recommend doing this at home, but I’m a professional, so it’s ok! It is tricky not overlapping previously lightened hair, especially at the back, which is why I experience breakage from time to time. I have to carefully apply lightener on my base twice to lift it to yellow.
Not done yet. My roots are lifted to my max level, but it’s the wrong tone. Don’t that shade of banana! My next step is toning. I like to wait a few days to let my hair rest. Then I apply a demi permanent hair colour in an ash base to get rid of the warmth. I boost the toning power by adding a violet dye to the forumula! It’s complicated to colour correct properly, so again, leave this to the professionals.
Tada! All done. This photo is actually taken a few shampoos after toning, so some of the excess color has washed off. I like to over tone my blonde hair so that as it washes out, the colour stays even…I think my blonde colour is like a silvery beige. I really like how soft and natural it is. Like maybe I was born with it!

Staying motivated for weight loss/beauty during a pandemic…

~ Emmie ~ 1 Comment

It’s been way too long since I’ve posted any cute clothes or make up tutorials on here, and I’m sad about it. It’s not that beauty and fashion no longer interests me, or that I’m too busy…far from it. It’s just been depressing during the quarantine this past year, making it difficult to be inspired. I also had a lot of personal problems right at the start of the pandemic last winter and feeling motivated to stay thin, to stay fashionable, or to follow the latest beauty trends has been far from my mind. Covid fatigue is a real thing but for me I was already tired of it from the beginning…

It all started when I lost my job as a stylist apprentice when hair salons shut down in Toronto last March. Shortly after that, I broke up with my “on again, off again” lover a second time, because he didn’t feel serious enough about us to date through a pandemic. I lost hope that I could be in a lasting relationship and doubted myself heavily… My career prospects had disappeared in a blink and just as fast, so did my love life die. And it all really hurt and stunned me. Nothing seemed important anymore and it was hard to keep my own identity. The world in shut down mode no longer made the need for stylish clothes or gorgeous make-up or hair looks in demand. The new routine for everyone would be comfy sweat pants and days of staying home unemployed. Add to that my daily break-up recovery routine and it was suicide. I would struggle daily for the next year to find ways to cope with the changes in my life.

This is in the summer of 2020 when I had more motivational goals for staying fit! I was biking daily and watching calories…lost about 5 pounds from the onset of the lockdown in the spring…I have now gained it all back.
With restrictions lifted temporarily last summer I got to travel and staying active helped me keep my physique. It was so important to get outside. Here I am infront of Niagara Falls’ river rapids.

During the first half of 2020, I was bored out of my mind, eating more and gaining weight. I had to force myself not wear sweat pants during the day because it made me feel too depressed and purposeless. I even stopped wearing makeup for a while. But then summer came and the pressure to go to the beach and wear bikinis was too great. I lost weight, got into fashion and beauty again. Things were kind of normal for a while. And in the fall, I was still active getting out, and even dated around a bit. Then came the holidays and New Years and another winter 2021 lockdown in Toronto. Any progress I had made came to a halt. Eating at home became a past time again and I am now 10 pounds heavier than what I usually am. I don’t feel pretty, and I don’t feel like myself. This is when I know I have to lose the weight again and get back to feeling like a beauty professional. Yes, there is a Pandemic going on, but no, I am not going to let it stop me from being myself!

Ending my Personal Pandemic: Goals

  • Self care is important, more so than ever. It’s easy to go days without grooming because no one is looking or caring, but a self care routine is connected to who I am. I will do it for my own sake and sanity. I am trying to put being lovely back into my daily routine.
  • Buy new pretty clothes: I have no where to go, and am already stocked in fab clothes from my years of working in fashion retail! But I recently found a gap in my wardrobe collection when I saw I had nothing to work out in! I then shopped online for cute work-out clothes. It helps motivate me to work out at home more often.
  • Find things to do daily to keep busy and not be tempted to eat out of boredom. I now have time to paint again (I went to art college), write and research new fashion trends. But even if I don’t do anything productive like the activities above, binge watching a show, playing video games, anything to pass time is still good. As long as it gets me through my unemployed day.
  • Stay away from alcohol or at least try not to have it regularly. I find it affects my energy levels the next day and makes me have very light sleeps.
  • Tracking my weight: It’s really hard to tell if I have gained weight and by the time I visually notice, I will already have gone off track. Using the bathroom daily scale seems like an anorexic habit, but it really helps me stay focused and not indulge too much.
  • Knowing why I want to lose weight: Skinny is not always beautiful, and not for everyone. But for me, I am the most happy, comfortable and confident when I am a few pounds lighter. My clothes fit better, my face is less puffy and round…and it just makes sense. Acceptance of my body also includes acceptance of my true goals when it comes to body image.

In conclusion: feeling pretty can be hard. I don’t think anybody wake up in the morning with birds chirping at their windows and bows in their hair. It takes a lot work that a pandemic and quarantine can thwart; but at the end of the day, it’s just another excuse for not living up to my standards of being. It’s never too late to turn around.

Anti-quarantine Glam Make-up looks…

~ Emmie ~ Leave a comment

The worldwide lock down has brought my spirits down as well. Physical distancing has bound everyone to their homes hiding or imprisoned; letting one’s appearance go is sadly is the new normal daily life. No hair or nail salons, no spas or gyms…basically no beauty allowed.  And with myself being in the beauty industry, I’ve been unemployed for six weeks now. I’m so bored with my inner thoughts and no amount of youtube, disney + or netflix can distract me from myself. I’m trying not to gain a ton of weight during my unemployed home times, and I’m basically living day to day wondering the necessity of pants. This is a dangerous time. I wanted to find a way to make social distancing more bearable. So what better than to share some glamourous full face make-ups suitable for happier days. These make-up looks I have designed are useless during the lock down, but give me something to look forward to wearing post covid, when all eyes may be on myself and the beauty of others!

Plum Smoke Romance:

I originally did this look for valentines, and I liked it a lot for the flirty sultry aspect. Plum is also a lot more inviting and interesting than the usual charcoal/grey smokey eyes.. So here is how to get it…

  1. Prepping the face…for this look, the less shine, the better. everything has to be matte and smokey. That includes the foundation, concealer and powder. I will even do my eye shadow base in a matte nude color.
  2. Define and fill in brows: pretty standard in all make-ups actually.
  3. Find a matte plum eyeshadow and sweep it on the whole lid from eyelash line all the way to the brow bone. Smoke out and deepen the plum with a charcoal violet shadow for a second coat on the entire eye lid.
  4. Using a soft eyeliner, line the top lid and smudge the line with a dark shadow to blend and set the liner. Use that same shade for the bottom lid and line the outer corners of the eyes.
  5. Two coats of mascara always, and falsies if desired. Blush is optional for this look and I kinda prefer without.

Carefree and smokey. I have dark days too.

Playboy Bunny Neutrals:

I made this look one Halloween when I contemplated donning the iconic  playboy bunny costume. The elegant body suit with stockings, bow tie, ears and tail. It’s pure feminine prowess at it’s best. The make-up for this look is a glam relies heavily and a retro cat eyeliner and shimmering nudes and taupes and goes well with any going out outfit.

  1. Foundation and concealer as always. Concealer is particularily important for a flawless matte complexion. Add powder generously.
  2. Fill in brows bushy and fluff them up fully!
  3. Matte shadow base all over top and bottom lid. Shimmer eyeshadow just on the bow bone and inner corners.
  4. Dark shimmer taupe shadow in the crease. Shimmer nude in the main center upper lid. Line with black pencil. Set the pencil line with a dark shadow, black or brown…outline the bottom lid with a bit of the same dark shadow (just the outer corners)
  5. Do a dramatic cat’s eye liner with liquid liner.
  6. Add two coats of mascara and falsies of desired.
  7. Use a matte blush on the cheeks.
  8. Finish with a red lipstick matte or gloss.

I do like to be girly sometimes. What better than to don a neutral glam look.

Ice Blush Princess:

If one could be the fairest in all the land!  Magical and fancy, pretty yet cool, behold the ice princess make-up. With ice pinks and plenty of dewy glow it’s a grown up way to show off baby doll pink.

  1. Moisturize the face with a non greasy lotion: This looks best when the skin is highly mosturized. Cool shimmery colors show every crack/crease on the face when it is too dry.
  2. Foundation and  concealer or brightening serum under and around the eyes is key to achieving that flawless glow; use face powder lightly to set. Finish brows with and filler and fluff aiming for a natural definition.
  3. Shadow work: Neutral non shimmer eye shadow base on top lid. Shimmering highlight shadow on bottom lid and inner eye corner and brow bone under the brow. Blend lightly with a blending brush. Dark mauve pink for the crease, and cool true pink shadow for the main lid area, Blend.
  4. Black eye liner tight lined to the upper lashes. Smudge the pencil line with charcoal gray shadow to widen and smoke up the line. Use the same gray shadow for bottom lid line (just the outer edges)
  5. Double coat of mascara. Falsies if desired! Spray with a dewy setting spray for moisturizing to take away any remaining powdery look!

Ice pinks are so subtle. But hopefully my shiny color palette is visible here.

So which look is the most glam and fitting for me? I like all three and am happy to have been able to try out these looksduring these sad times of having no reason to get dolled up and be glamorous. Hang in there…beauty will reign supreme again some day.