Category: psychology

Holiday blues and stresses…how to cope

~ Emmie Reve ~ Leave a comment
Christmas tree with lights and all. But who also feels sadness?

The end of the year is upon us so what to do? I know it’s a hard time of year for many and here’s the reasons. We feel obligated to make it perfect, magical and happy. Hallmark movies, and ideas of family togetherness. Getting everything on our wish list and giving the best most amazing gifts. Hitting relationship and career goals, anticipating a holiday vacation that is heavy in price tag and planning…etc. Trying not to over eat, but trying not to miss out on holiday treats. Keeping traditions while not really having time or energy for the rituals we once held dear. It’s never ending the way people stress over the holidays. And in my experience it’s almost always disappointing in some way. I call it my Xmas curse, but I guess it’s inevitable that the end of the year in all of it’s hype, is not all it’s supposed to be.

So how do we cope mentally during such a trying time of the year? How do we find balance and peace during a time that is supposedly all of that and more? The solution can be as simple and complicated as one wants it. But ultimately, it’s all about understanding ourselves and reaching out for what will realistically make a simple solution. Here are my go to’s this year for treating holiday blues:

  1. Have time for myself: People are afraid to be alone during the holidays. And working a lot is the norm as well. The pressure to fill every moment and minute with another being or working overtime to make year end goals, is not quality time. Trying not to feel alone; not scheduling alone time for reflection and isolation is a negative thing. Solitude during this time of year when the first snow hits makes sense. Embrace it. People will always be around, but the quiet beauty of being one with oneself is a fragile state that must be prioritized.
  2. Rest a lot: Being stressed and overwhelmed during the holidays is a natural occurrence. Rest and relaxation is not. Which is why I have to work hard at not working hard. Whether it is skipping groceries for a day and ordering take-out or procrastinating on hanging ornaments and xmas lights…it’s really important to rest. It also helps my immune system during the first cold spell and prevents me from getting sick.
  3. Don’t go shopping: It’s really tempting with all the sales and everyone on the list to not hit the malls frantically and spend. Gifts can be simple and don’t have to be perfect. Spend less time buying and more time thinking about the people you want to gift to. Everything tends to fall into place without too much stress/spending usually. Try to remember that.
  4. Don’t over eat: Let’s be honest, food is comforting. Whenever I feel sad or alone, I am reaching for salty noodle soup, spicey condiments, and tons of delicious fried delicacies. It’s relaxing and rewarding for the moment and releases happy hormones. But the aftermath is guilt and disgust at myself when all my clothes are tight, and I’m not as cute and petite as I like to be. Everything in moderation. I don’t want to deprive myself, but honestly, I don’t have to over indulge.
  5. Watch the drinking: Sometimes during the holidays, we are encouraged to let loose and drink. Especially when things are not panning out the way we want. A boyfriend forgets to call, an argument with a sister; during the holidays, these mishaps feel ten times worse. The quick fix is to grab a cocktail. But drinking heightens emotions and subdues restraints. Meaning one can say things one doesn’t mean, or feel even worse about a situation. I’m not saying not to drink. But stay aware of the amount taken and how it may distort one’s perspective on things.
Happy Holidays. Remember to take care and stay beautiful!

So there it is. My list of things to help me navigate the holiday season, mentally healthy and happy. The end of the year is a time for reflection and no anxiety, so why not make efforts to thwart the tendency for chaos? What better way to right in the new year that to prioritize rest, peace, and self respect? Happy holidays everyone from the bottom of my heart to all this season. And see you on Dreamy Reveries in the new year! I have a lot planned for 2023 here!

Sleepwear fashion shouldn’t be a snooze!

~ Emmie Reve ~ Leave a comment

So winter is upon us and well, after a few years of lockdown, I feel home clothes and pajamas can no longer be sloppy, ugly or unthoughtful. Wearing sweatpants and baggy t-shirts for home and sleep feels almost like a post-traumatic stress uniform. I don’t want to be reminded of the veggie like state that the quarantine had imposed on the world, and the void it put on fashion over the last few years. Isolation had made people unfit and uncaring about looking gorgeous, whether going out or staying home. Nobody cared about image, and it hurt the beauty and fashion industry for a long time.

Fleece jogger pants are softer that sweatpants and much more attractive too!

So now comes the overcorrection; I find myself dying to look amazing even if it’s my day off and I am doing house chores at home. I ask myself why can’t I look cute for that? For answering work emails at home, or for working on social media content online? Wouldn’t it be more honest for me as a beauty professional to look good at home in real time while promoting my services online in the digital world? But on this same note, I don’t think I will be comfortable dressed to the nines at home while doing dishes and taking out the garbage. I can’t be decked in pearls when it’s evening and I want to sit in front of the tv. with a bowl of noodle soup and watch a scary movie. So, what to do?

How do I fix the gap between the stylishness of my outside/work wardrobe versus my home wardrobe? Time to do some shopping and revaluate what makes certain clothing functional and stylish for use at when being cozy at home is the mood:

This is a really comfy and cute set. It almost looks like a romper! but it is a two piece made of a cotton waffle material. The print cheers up the deep green.

Stylish Lounge or Pajama Wear Musts:

  1. Be comfortable. Part of the main function of pjs and homewear is comfort. While at home, the formalities of the work world are far away, loose and boxy cuts can be embraced. But go too oversized and it’s sloppy. There is a fine line between relaxed and just plain messy. Focus on soft fabrics with stretch, breathable cotton and flannel. Imagine a cloud and how to dress if living on one!
  2. Colour: I am not a fan of black for lounge wear. It seems depressing and can look sloppy, because it’s the colour that hides all stains. I like light colours because they are uplifting and remind me of sunny days. They also look fresh and clean and put together.
  3. For the boyish styles: I find lounge wear can be very unisex. Boxer shorts on girls, show off long legs, and waffle henley tees that are fitted show off feminine curves in a rustic, earthy way. It’s a no frills pretty.
  4. For the girly: Sleep dresses come in all styles, lengths and materials. The most casual would be a strappy tank dress style. But for more oh la la, add some lace and satin to the mix. I own a lot of satin/silk camis and find they are so girly while remaining a realistically functional item for sleep and loungewear layering
  5. Stick to the basics: soft leggings, fitted t shirts, body suits, tank tops… if it looks like something American Apparel made, it’ll probably do the job.
The softest leggings and warm socks keep the drafts away! A lace cami is feminine.

Is there any loungewear articles or musts that I have forgotten? Let me know in the comments below and stay cozy and gorgeous at home!

How I had Winter Fun up North, when the Pandemic took away travel options..

~ Emmie Reve ~ Leave a comment

Everybody who knows me, knows I can’t stand the cold. I am not a winter person. Even as a born and raised Canadian, I can’t skate, ski, or play hockey….all of the things that would make winter worthwhile. Without an interest in winter sports, all I have to look forward to as an urbanite in Toronto winters are slushy dirty snow, traffic accidents, public transit delays, a sun that sets at 5pm, and the depression constant darkness brings. It’s a season that gives me nothing, other than a gut from over eating out of boredom, and the lack of the ability to get outside for fear of being frozen. So for travel ideas if given a chance to chose in a non-pandemic travel world, one would find me on a white sand beach, or walking down big city streets, or soaking up culture in the finest museums internationally.

With the start of this year’s holiday season, it was also the start of another variant of Covid, and again the usual patterns of hibernating, being bored at home was all too tempting. But having time off work put pressure on me to think outside the box. Avoiding the stress from all the international travel restrictions, I instead planned a trip up North to a small cottage town called Bracebridge in Muskoka, a very picturesque area of Ontario that I never explored before. And thus launched the idea that maybe I could have fun this winter. Think trees, a lovely winding river and quietness. My son and I enjoyed days in with a magnificent view and cozy comfort food at the Inn’s pub. What I learned was winter could be beautiful and starting the New Year seemed positive. Travelling to remote areas in the winter has it’s perks, and while it’s no tropical paradise, it was relaxing and replenished me somehow.

On a hill with a bridge. Overlooking the river, my inn was just in the buildings behind.

Why Leaving the City for a Northern Getaway Worked:

  1. Traveling out of the city to a remote small town meant I didn’t have to get on a plane to go somewhere new and unexplored. And while Muskoka area was not too different from Toronto climate (albeit much colder), just the fact that getting there didn’t rely on delays, stress and customs at an airport, made it enjoyable. A two hour bus ride was all it took.
  2. I was by the beautiful Muskoka river and it was quiet and serene: Toronto doesn’t have big areas of peaceful water. It’s busy and hectic to get down to the harbour front and cold and windy to be near Lake Ontario during the winter. It’s hard to enjoy winter in the city. But it was pristine up North.
  3. “Baby it’s cold outside”: Just like the Christmas song implies, I didn’t need to be outside to have fun up North. I invested in a gorgeous suite that overlooked the river on a ravine. It was cold outside so after an afternoon of hiking around outside, I could return to my suite and just hibernate all night by the faux fireplace while enjoying Netflix and the view. Being inside and aiming to isolate never felt so right.
  4. The locals up north were friendly: Toronto is a grumpy city. Forget that we are supposed to be “nice Canadians” we just aren’t. So when I get random “happy new years” greetings from locals and staff it’s actually really nice.
  5. Because small towns are less populated, there is less adherence to strict Covid methods, such as I was barely screened for vaccination when dining, and there was just a calmer outlook when in public.

All in all I had fun up North in the small town of Bracebridge and that surprised me, considering I going somewhere colder and more remote based on pandemic restrictions. But this trip proved that sometimes being in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of winter can be fun.

On a steel bridge in Bracebridge feeling the small town charm, forgetting the cold!